Twitter users discuss how men instantly resist ideas put forth by women without considering them
The constant resistance builds up over time and triggers anxiety in women, they said.
While interacting with married women, a person (@w_asherah) realized that men just have a strange instinct to refute everything a female says without a reason. To analyze it further, they asked all their male friends to notice how often their first response to something a woman says is no, to argue, or to be negative, and when a friend noticed it himself, he was shocked. What started as a random observation quickly escalated into a debate, with the majority of women supporting the idea. The post that went viral was shared on Twitter in June 2022.
I've been asking my male friends to do something - *watch if the first response to everything a woman tells you is to refute, say no or something negative*
— Toph Beifong - Electrical Engineer 🇰🇪 (@W_Asherah) June 12, 2022
One texted me later: Holy f*ck
The problem is, constantly putting up with unwarranted resistance is bad for mental health.
They said that the married women they were talking to were obviously frustrated with men trying to dismiss them every time. The author said that mostly when a lady suggests something, a man says no for absolutely no reason and then ends up following it anyway. Now this constant resistance builds up over time and triggers anxiety in women. In fact, it makes them stop expressing ideas because they're always scared of having to prepare for a debate. Moving on, the author recalled how men who claim to support women still constantly say no or disagree for no real reason. "Oh, he is one of those allies who believed that he's very supportive of women in his life (I'm hoping he's stopped believing that). All while responding with a resounding no to things that should not get a no. He didn't say what, but he found himself in an argument with his sister," they added.
My Autistic brain has to *learn by observation* - I don't pick up social cues so teaching them to me as a child was likely futile to my oblivious brain. So I kinda *learn by observing patterns* - ever since I started my ADHD medication, I'm noticing weird social norms like these.
— Toph Beifong - Electrical Engineer 🇰🇪 (@W_Asherah) June 12, 2022
The author said they have observed the pattern because they process things slightly differently than most. "I don't pick up social cues, so teaching them to me as a child was likely futile to my oblivious brain. So I kinda *learn by observing patterns* — ever since I started my ADHD medication, I'm noticing weird social norms like these," they confessed. The person went on to explain that the constant resistance from men is similar to "pathological demand avoidance," where someone automatically goes against any kind of suggestions. However, they said the resistance disappears when it's a man speaking the same things. "This thread doesn't exist for debate reasons (I don't even get why this has to be said out loud because it's the literal premise of the thread). It's for women to put words to something they experience every day," the author wrote, urging women to share their own experiences.
It's like *pathological demand avoidance* but make it something inflicting men when women speak. The problem tends to disappear when it's a man speaking. One person talked about a woman who calls the husband's best friend whenever she needs a huge decision to be made 😥😥😥
— Toph Beifong - Electrical Engineer 🇰🇪 (@W_Asherah) June 12, 2022
Reacting to the Twitter thread, @abarelightbulb commented, "I once brought out a bag of bad spinach and said, 'I'm gonna throw this out,' and he was like, 'Why?' even though it was black and he could see it. He proceeded to eat f****** bad spinach just to prove me wrong." @sorrytothevines said, "Huh. I didn’t realize this was a common thing. My husband often pushes back on little things for no apparent reason, so I’ve stopped 'discussing' those things. I just make decisions without his input, because I know his initial reaction will be a 'no.' I assumed it was just him being him."
When they say "No" to something it's not in a "I've weighed the options and decided this is better" way, it's a command like you'd give a toddler or a dog, they can't argue back so the "No" is the final answer
— Dominique Richardson (@NikkoAngelus) June 13, 2022
Holy shit. This is why I’ve always preferred to work with women, I just didn’t know it. 😳. I don’t get a lot of it at home from hubby, but work was like that for decades. I didn’t have a name for it.
— Kristy Mallory (@KristyMbooks) June 13, 2022
Despite awareness, society hasn't fully embraced gender equality. Sadly, even today, women in most households still complain about how their opinions aren't even considered worthy. In fact, Gallup surveys found a significant gender disparity in respect and dignity across 144 countries. In 2024, astonishingly, only 49% of women believe that they are treated with respect and dignity in the U.S., compared to 67% of men who feel the same. Moreover, they also found that in 93 out of 144 countries, women are less likely than men to say that they are treated with respect. Meanwhile, @megantheepony commented, "Omg, it's not just me. IT'S NOT JUST ME! I swear to God, this is one of the things that triggers me the most after leaving an abusive relationship, and I thought I was the only one who noticed this. I'm completely worn out by having to defend everything I say and do always."
You can follow Toph Beifong - Electrical Engineer (@w_asherah) on X for lifestyle content.
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