Mel Robbins' 'let them' theory shows people how to address their bullies with sass

Best-selling author and self-help guru Mel Robbins' Let Them theory has been a widespread concept, especially since it revolves around rewiring one's mind to worry less about other people's validation. However, did you know that the theory could be applied to help people address their bullies with sass? In an Instagram post from January 25, the self-help guru addresses ways to help one get free from the bully that lives rent-free in their head.

Mel Robbins often emphasizes the idea that we are not responsible for another person's happiness. In the Instagram post, the self-help guru shared three ways to shut the bullies up once and for all. Firstly, she encourages her followers to 'name it.' Robbins believes that when one gives a name to the negative voice in one's head, one can now leverage the power of objectivity. This helps in separating oneself from the negative voice in the head. Secondly, Robbins believes in turning the bullies into a cartoon character.

 "Picture them as a pimply middle schooler or a tiny little mouse with ugly teeth. It takes the sting out when you have a visual," she notes. Oftentimes, people struggle to verbalize their thoughts when confronting their bullies. Robbins encourages people to silence their bullies by talking back. "Nothing silences a bully faster than telling them to 'F off,'" she writes. In her YouTube video, Mel Robbins also emphasizes the importance of not taking responsibility for other people's happiness. "Let them be unhappy, while you can focus on what makes you happy," she notes.

In a 2025 report on Impossible Psychological Services, the author noted that often people feel obliged to satisfy others. "Having a high level of empathy can be a strength, but when combined with a strong need for approval, it can lead to chronic people-pleasing," the author notes. Oftentimes, people who are bullied try to seek validation from others, but in turn, it forces them to walk on eggshells, pushing them to be people pleasers. As noted by Mel Robbins, with the ability to focus happiness within ourselves and not taking responsibility for other people's moods, one sets oneself free of carrying an unwanted burden. 

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