Matthew McConaughey’s ‘own, don’t rent’ rule could change how you approach relationships
Whether it's work, parenting or partnering, the celebrity's three-word rule can work wonders.
If you’ve often wondered how much you should be giving in a relationship, you’re not alone. Responsibilities are shared, but it's often challenging to figure out how and who will manage what. This becomes easier if you apply Matthew McConaughey’s simple rule — “Own. Don’t Rent.” The actor appeared in the “Diary of a CEO” podcast with host Steven Bartlett and revealed that it’s the one rule he sticks to for all of his relationships. The clip shared on February 4, feels like an answered prayer to exhausted partners and a guide to confused ones.
The actor mentioned that this single rule is so important that it takes priority in all roles of his life. Whether it’s work, family, spirituality, self-help, or even as a father and husband, he said, “Don’t half a** it.” That’s the crux of the “Own, don’t rent” rule. Three words with a powerful meaning. He mentioned that in all relationships, whether it’s hiring an assistant or being with your partner, you need to walk into it with an “ownership mindset.” This doesn’t mean to be superior and controlling; this means to be fully responsible and invested. This mentality gives both parties in the relationship the “dignity and power” to see how things can work out in the long run.
McConaughey explained that a “Renter’s mentality” is what often causes relationships to break or not work out. The latter refers to a temporary mindset, or as the actor notes, the “We’ll see” theory. The problem with it is that you’re not planning, not holding responsibility, or taking accountability. “You’re not getting the most out of that person,” he mentioned. So even when it's something as simple as doing dishes as the husband, if you really hold on to that owner’s mentality, it will push you to take accountability. Simply go by the name, if you were an owner v/s a renter, there would be big differences in how you treated a house. You’d obviously pay more attention and work to ensure the best of it if you were the owner.
The same applies to relationships. A study from the University of Michigan revealed that people who see their partners as more invested in the relationship tend to be highly motivated towards the bond. It was noted that “decisions to commit to romantic relationships can be motivated by the people’s perceptions that their romantic partner has invested in the relationship.” When a person feels the other is committed, they feel grateful and safe, thereby increasing their chances of committing further.
Another survey on 256 individuals in new dating relationships, published by Sage Journals, revealed that high investment from partners is linked to “indicators of relationship development” such as better attachment and a vision for the long run. It’s simple: you just have to be fully involved. It’s not a big ask, but it can do wonders, and many agreed with it. Candy Boutilier wrote, “We've been married for 51 years. It hasn't been easy, but divorce has never been an option. I'm definitely an owner, renting makes it too easy to give up.” Den Osborne added, “And this conversation is so relevant in everything we do in life. When a person owns a house or apartment, there is a completely different mentality towards it. Well said.”
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