Maryland coach goes viral after video shows her yelling at star player — a lip-reading expert’s reveal changed how everyone saw it

An intense moment captured during the NCAA women's college basketball tournament has put coach Brenda Frese under scrutiny. It all happened when a video of the Maryland Terrapins' head coach shouting at one of her student-athletes, Oluchi Okananwa, during a game went viral on social media. Based on her expressions, people online judged her for being overly aggressive, without hearing the actual context.

Amid rising criticism, Maryland star Okananwa stepped in to defend her coach and clarified the heated on-field exchange at a postgame press conference on March 22.

A slow beginning in Chapel Hill had put the Maryland Terrapins team under stress. And it was during this vulnerable time that cameras captured Frese, the coach, yelling at her student, Okananwa. She was angry and was constantly pointing a finger at her, as if accusing her of something. To most viewers, it looked like Frese was just being a terrible coach, slashing her left, right, and center for the team's bad performance. But in reality, the coach was just trying to boost her student's confidence.

In fact, as decoded by Jackie G (@tismejackieg), a lip-reading expert, Frese told Okananwa, "I need you to lock in and stop being distracted. Alright? I believe in you, but you've got to want to smoke. This isn't my story."

The tough conversation worked like magic for Okananwa, as she performed much better afterwards and helped her team catch up in the game. However, despite her best efforts, her team lost the match. However, while the game is over, Frese is not free from criticism yet. It's fortunate that her student — yes, the one being yelled at — came to her rescue.

When asked about the heated moment in a postgame conference, Okananwa said, "Coach understands I'm a competitor at heart, and I've told her this before, and I'll keep on telling her this until forever: I love to be coached hard, and that's what she does with me every single day."

She continued, "It’s a long game, lots of ups and downs and I feel like after that conversation, that’s when I really went back out and just did what I had to do for my team in that moment. So, I’m forever appreciative of that."

Frese also clarified her stand, saying she was just trying to motivate her student, who she saw struggling during the tournament. "You can't have them without a relationship; you've got to be able to have that. The best of the best, the elite of the elite, want to be coached hard. At that moment, I had watched [Okananwa] struggle within this tournament, and she's just too gifted. I wanted to implore how much belief I had in her and just challenge her," she added. 

Although ‘tough love’ is often viewed as being harsh or unkind to kids, studies show it actually benefits them. In fact, a survey by think tank Demos followed the journey of 9,000 families and found only 13% using a combination of love, affection, and discipline to raise kids. But those who adopted the tough love approach raised more empathetic and emotionally resilient kids. The study found that such kids were more likely to bounce back from tough situations and handle challenges better than their peers. Rather than income or social background, the study revealed that parenting style defined their character strength.

Meanwhile, netizens couldn't stop themselves from praising both the Maryland star Okananwa and her coach, Frese. For instance, @bigtimeadulting commented, "The epitome of why gentle parenting is not a one-size-fits-all approach." @jjteamdez23 wrote, "That’s coaching! We need more of these youth sports in schools. Tough love — it makes everyone better." Similarly, @worddissociation wrote, "There’s no rage or negative emotion in coaches' eyes. This is passion overflowing, and she’s likely better for it." @ervensays shared, "To have people speak into your life to the point where you feel like you can run through walls is a blessing."

More on Scoop Upworthy

Mom's 'tough love' letter to 'entitled' 13-year-old son garners praise from other parents

Mom teaches daughter a valuable life lesson after she throws new present in trash

Mom finds out her son's been bullying his less wealthy peers — teaches him a powerful lesson in humility