Man who never liked or wanted kids seeks advice on being a good dad when his wife gets pregnant

For many, having kids is a joyful, life-changing milestone. But not everyone feels that way. One man opened up about his conflicted feelings on Reddit, where u/phstcf revealed that he never wanted children and has never really liked them. Despite this, he now finds himself expecting a child with his wife, leaving him in a tough emotional spot.

“I did not want a child, but my wife is pregnant,” the man wrote, expressing a lack of affinity for his soon-to-be-born baby. Additionally, he did not mind disclosing that only his wife had wanted the child. Through the post, the individual shared his plight, further portraying how nervous he was about the whole situation.

The man explained that fatherhood wasn’t his choice and he felt cornered into it. “I did not want a child. But my wife wanted it. Due to social and family pressure, I decided to have a child,” he said. 

“My wife is pregnant. I don't like kids that much,” the man added. "I want to like kids. How can I be a good dad? Any tips to be a better person who likes kids and be a good dad to my child?" The individual sought advice from Reddit users, asking them how he could become a good dad to his baby despite his original feelings on parenthood.

The post sparked hundreds of comments, with users offering support and advice on how to handle the “nerve-wracking” experience. Among them, u/tempco schooled the future parent with his message saying, “Loving your child is very, very different from liking other people’s kids; it's like a completely different world.” Adding to it, u/ShDynasty_Gods_Comma revealed, “My mom told me, when my first child was born (because she knows how I am), not to shield my husband from the difficult parts. The rough patches of having a baby are where the bonds are forged.”

Sharing their thoughts, u/fairyromedi, empathized and wrote, “Yes, I 'let' my husband take care of the baby from the start, and let me tell you, he is better at soothing the baby than I am. I know that if I had to leave the kids with my husband, I wouldn’t have to worry or leave an 'instruction manual.'” u/badmontingz999 poked fun, “I wanted to help with everything! Lol, it ended up with me having to be told to let my partner hold, feed, change, etc., for my babies.”

“Fake it till you make it! I think it’s especially true for fathers. I know some guys who cried at their baby’s birth, but I think it’s normal for feelings to be a little slow to pick up,” added u/Trash_Gordon_. “My husband and I were both not 'kid-loving' people. He interacted okay with his nieces and nephews, while I would run away from kids and didn't know how to behave around them. I felt weird. We have a two-year-old now and would like a second or even a third child if not for financial constraints. We love our child and are very good with our kid and our friends' kids of similar ages,” u/Pitiful-Afternoon-43 said.