He dreaded 'wedding day' without his late husband until he found a forgotten card handwritten by him
'It brought tears to my eyes and felt like a sign, just before our wedding day,' he said.
Trigger Warning: This article contains themes of death that some readers may find distressing.
October 14th, 2023, should’ve been their wedding day. But for Jack Ciapciak, the date became something entirely different after losing his fiancé, whom he called Jack. In a heartfelt post shared on his Instagram page @jackciapciak and liked by over 18,000 people, Ciapciak added photos of him and Jack, along with a handmade anniversary card and an illustration Jack had drawn years earlier, walking followers through what he felt in the days leading up to their "wedding day."
"When my fiancé passed away, I wasn’t sure how I’d survive our wedding day," he said. At first, he thought he might still host a gathering to celebrate Jack’s life, surrounded by their family and friends. But as the day grew closer, the idea felt unbearable. "It would be too hard," he shared. "I thought maybe I just needed to be alone." A few days before what would have been their ceremony, he was cleaning out his desk at work when he found a handmade card Jack had drawn for their fifth anniversary. "I’d forgotten about it and thought I’d already found all the cards he wrote over the years," he said.
Inside the card was a handwritten message that read, "We lived through times when hate and fear seemed stronger. We rise and fall and light from dying embers, remembrances that hope and love last longer. And love is love is love is love is love is love cannot be killed or swept aside... Happy five, Jack. I love you." The words stopped him in his tracks. "It brought tears to my eyes and felt like a sign, just before our wedding day, reminding me that Jack was still here. That death can’t kill love," he wrote.
Psychologists have long observed that people who stay open to connection after loss often find small, life-affirming signs of their loved ones. Research from the University of Kentucky and Harvard, published in Frontiers in Psychology, found that those who engage meaningfully with memories or supportive communities often experience post-traumatic growth — a form of healing where hope, strength, and love deepen instead of fading.
When the day arrived, both families came together. "We gathered in the morning at the bench and shed some tears. It was raining, as if the world was weeping with us," he said. From there, they visited some of their favorite spots, including Jack's favorite bar, where they gave a toast to Jack and even cut a cake. "While it wasn’t the wedding day I’d imagined, it was perfect," he wrote. "Filled with tears, laughs, and a whole lot of love. I’m so grateful my people gathered around and lifted me up. They got me through that day and continue to get me through life."
The post deeply moved thousands of people who expressed similar thoughts on what it meant to love and lose. @thatsteve commented, "Wow. I’m sitting in a lobby waiting for a meeting… A business meeting… And I’m crying. I love you both. The love you have for each other is remarkable." @maryciapciak added, "A beautiful love story I was fortunate to witness and share! The memories, the laughs, the love… never ending." @thoughtsallday2022 said, "I don't know you, but I just cried with you. This is absolutely beautiful. I think the love you both shared is truly life-affirming. I am so moved by the depth of the love you both shared."
You can follow Jack Ciapciak (@jackciapciak) on Instagram for more content on dealing with grief.
If you're struggling to cope with grief and need help, please reach out to Crisis Response at 1-800-203-CARE (2273)
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