He asked for a wife who’d live with his parents, not her own. The matchmaker’s response turned the tables
'I have a cultural responsibility...' the man began.
In the process of match-making, both parties like to make their terms clear beforehand, so that any potential matches can get them one step closer to finding the one. On February 11, a matchmaker who goes by @leveluponepercent shared a TikTok post about a profile she received in hopes of finding matches.
It seemed like a good candidate, a male in his mid-twenties, who works in tech and was slightly above average, according to her. However, he shared one condition that became a deal breaker — she had to live with his parents in the same household, but her parents living with them was an immediate no-no. To this, the woman offered a bold argument.
@leveluponepercent If you’re asking for a major compromise somewhere, I’m expecting to see a major compromise in your requirements as well #matchmaker #datingapps #muslim #matchmaking #dearbaji ♬ original sound - Onepercentbetter
The man shared the basic requisites of a 'good wife', such as someone who is attractive, well-educated, etc., and able to match his qualities. He also requested someone who would be “open to living with his parents” after marriage. When the matchmaker heard this, she decided to ask the man a few more questions to get better clarity.
She first asked if living in a separate space, though within proximity, would be feasible, and also wanted to know whether any of his requirements could be compromised on. The candidate explained that both would be a possibility.
The matchmaker recommended the man reconsider his requirements since he was young and supposedly wanting to stay with his parents was just a “want,” not a “need.” She questioned whether living separately could be an option if the woman was supportive with finances, but that was also refused. She also asked if he would be open to having her parents live with them, adding that the only sensible presumption would be a positive reply since he expected the bride-to-be to live with his folks.
However, the man had a questionable take. He said, “I have a cultural responsibility to live with my parents, and I don’t know how things would work out if her parents resided with us, so it’s gonna be a no.”
While he was open to the woman supporting her parents, it wasn't enough. The matchmaker shared data she received from her acquired responses. She revealed that she included a question in her forms, asking candidates whether they'd be okay with a joint family setting or living with parents after marriage. She offered three options — “Dealbreaker,” “Open to considering,” and “Okay with it.” “A majority of people overwhelmingly chose dealbreaker,” she said.
She then rendered a straightforward reply to the candidate. “You are not an ideal candidate for my matchmaking service.” She mentioned that though other requirements seemed feasible, the idea that he wanted her to “live with additional members of his family not out of necessity but traditional expectations, while not offering the same option for her parents" was not done.
According to data from the Pew Research Center, the number of people living in multigenerational households has significantly increased since the 1970s. As of 2021, nearly 60 million people are living in such households. The top reason cited for this living arrangement is low finances and being unable to afford housing. Among those between 25 and 39 years of age, men were more likely to live in such a setting compared to women. It honestly looks more like a financial issue than a choice. However, in this case, it was clear that finances weren’t a problem. Many approved of the matchmaker’s input. @threehornsdontplay wrote, “Hard reject. He wants to make his family with them, but hers can’t? Gross.” @clairebe4r added, “He wants build-a-wife. I can think of no real woman who would meet these requirements.”
You can follow @leveluponepercent on TikTok for more content on relationships and matchmaking.
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