His wife rejected him for 2 years before becoming affectionate again. Then her first words in couples therapy made him ask for a divorce
Afraid of being rejected again, he responded the same way she did to him. However, she used it against him
A marriage is a partnership, and both people should put in the effort to make it work. u/AmericanGothic67 had been with his wife for 16 years and married for 13. The last few years were difficult. She had emotionally and physically withdrawn from him. He tried to help her, and they attended couples counseling, but six months ago, after no change, he gave up. However, a month ago, she tried to initiate intimacy after she noticed he was being distant. He responded the way she did, and she used it against him during counseling. The post was shared on September 12, 2026, and it received 10,000 upvotes and 427 comments.
Two years of rejection
The author's marriage had been on the rocks for a few years. His wife made zero contact with him, never said "I love you," and stopped having deep conversations. She was always on her phone and cried about how much she hated her job. He said he repeatedly encouraged her to seek help, but she refused. After years of feeling unwanted, he eventually began questioning whether there was anything left in the marriage to save. After she noticed how distant he had become, she tried to initiate contact. Afraid of being rejected after two years of being made to feel unattractive, he responded the same way she did to him. However, she used it against him.
'Instead she attacked me'
During a counseling session, she brought up his "lack of affection" after she tried to reach out. Shocked by her lack of self-awareness, he responded, "Now you know how I've felt for so f*cking long." He admitted that the romance was dead. He was in a "weird headspace" after they got intimate, and there was no more emotional connection. He tried to be honest, but it backfired. "I'd just poured my heart out to her in one last attempt to salvage things, and instead she attacked me," he wrote. She called him "immature and afraid of stability," and that was the last straw. He told her that she did not care for him, and he wanted a divorce so he could live his own life.
Finally some peace
The wife started crying, but the author was unfazed because he was finally done this time. When he did not react, she flipped and started insulting him, calling him names, saying that he would be a failure without her. She blamed him for "ruining her life," but it was her own self who pushed away her family and friends. He was ready to stop being controlled by her. He did not want to be monitored for spending his own money.
He concluded, "So, I'm taking all the steps to protect myself (good diet, regular exercise, lots of therapy) and cannot wait to be in my own space, making my own spending choices, and just having some damn peace finally." The author was in a happy place, surrounded by friends, family, and his dog, with a good job and income.
Signs leading to divorce
Marriages crumble for many reasons, and a 2024 Forbes Advisor survey found that lack of family support was the main reason (43%). A few other reasons for divorce include infidelity (34%), lack of compatibility (31%), and lack of intimacy (31%). The author and his wife had grown apart over the years, but their lack of connection and intimacy was what widened the gap between them. The survey also highlighted certain signs that show a marriage is at risk for divorce. The first was a lack of showing interest in one another (48%), followed by poor conflict resolution (47%), avoiding each other (45%), and poor communication (33%). These were some of the issues the author and his wife dealt with before he asked for a divorce.
13 years and afraid of stability
Netizens supported the author's decision to divorce his wife after hearing what he had been through. u/RunnerAtThird commented, "Holy sh*t, dude. I totally understand the death of romance and emotional connection after getting physically rejected for years on end. I hope you find growth and healing in the future. I think you made the correct decision." u/Forsaken_Regular_180 added, "'Afraid of stability' after 13 years of marriage is wild! I'm sorry, man, but I'm glad to hear you didn't let it go on for nearly 20 years and utterly break you like my dad did."
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