Man told date it was okay to cancel if she wasn’t feeling dinner — then her comment about a ‘real man’ left him wishing he hadn't asked her out

Getting to know someone is usually the difficult part. It can take a while to figure out who they really are and what they like. In some cases, you might even offend them while trying to do something nice. That is exactly what happened to a 22-year-old man (u/justin_wilsonn). He had been talking to a girl for two weeks, and they had been planning their first date. But a few hours before dinner, he messaged to check in with her, and her response made him wonder what he saw in her in the first place. The post was shared on October 14, 2026, and it has since received 17,000 upvotes on Reddit.

'That just gave me the ick'

The author was excited for his dinner date and wanted to see if the girl he had been talking to was feeling the same. He wrote, "We're still on for dinner tonight?" and she responded with, "Uh, yeah?" Her reply made it sound like she was hesitant or not as excited as he was. So, the man messaged back, "Okay, cool. Are you interested? That response just seems kinda odd." He followed up with an explanation: "I want you to be happy. If you're not feeling it tonight, that's okay." He thought he was being considerate by letting her know she could cancel if she didn't want to go. Instead, she said, "That just gave me the ick, not gonna lie."

The shocking response

The author was confused by her response. He tried to be a gentleman, so she wouldn't feel forced to go on the dinner date, but it backfired. The man then asked her what she meant by her message, and she pointed out the text that gave her the "ick." She wrote back, "'I want you to be happy,'" and added, "You're acting like a woman right now. A man should be dominant; how about 'What time we getting dinner tonight?'"

A little miscommunication

Tone and delivery are not always evident in text messages. Some prefer calling, while others like texting. A survey from AT&T, cited by Marketing Charts, found that 34% of respondents who were in a relationship or dating said they would be more comfortable on a first date if they had received a text message beforehand. Additionally, 84% said text messages could be misunderstood by the person they're interested in. The author wanted to check in with her to see if they were still on the same page, but got burned instead.

'Block her'

The author received over 9,000 comments giving him advice and suggestions on how he should've responded. u/enneque commented, "She thinks she wants 'dominant,' but what she’ll end up attracting is controlling and domineering. And then she’s gonna complain that her boyfriend is abusive. She needs therapy, and you dodged a bullet." u/dangthisisdumb wrote, "Anyone that tells you how you 'should be' instead of being into who you are naturally, is not going to be worth your time."

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