Man decides not to give gifts to cousins who disrespected his partner in his house and refused to apologize.
Being in a relationship requires a lot more than just love. It requires people to prioritize and respect each other. Reddit user u/throwRa-buggy has created a fulfilling life for himself and his boyfriend. Keeping those ideals in mind, they recently took a big step and bought a new house together. Since his boyfriend does not stay in touch with his family, it was only the man's family invited to the gift-giving ceremony. They wanted to make it special as it was the first big event that they were hosting. Unfortunately, all the spirits came crashing down when the couple overheard nasty remarks made by the cousins. Some crossed a line as they were downright offensive. Though her partner remained silent over this, the man did not let it go. He decided to confront them and made a bold move.
The whole incident occurred in a pre-Christmas celebration. The couple was very excited, especially the 30-year-old boyfriend. One of the biggest aspects of this celebration was gift-giving. In the family, all the kids looked forward to the man's gifts because they were usually expensive. After all, he was a "splurger." The man wrote, "My boyfriend really wanted to take part in the gift giving so went all out with gifts, spending an average of 100 dollars per person. He was so excited to give everyone their presents since we spent not only money but also a lot of time picking everything for everyone." Both were happy with how the celebrations came into place and stepped out for a bit to have "some quiet time together." As they were roaming around, they stumbled upon some of the cousins gossiping amongst themselves.
One of them said that the partner was "too gay to function." Though a bit out of the line since the people saying it were literal teenagers and it was a movie reference, the couple decided to let it go. Things escalated when a cousin in their 20s decided to join them. The jokes became "harsher" and were so mean that it caused the boyfriend to cry. It was the tipping point and the man refused to let it slide.
He went in and during the gift-trading, took his cousins aside. He informed them sternly, "I wasn't happy with their comments and that they weren't ok to say." The man demanded that they apologize to his partner because the jokes were hurtful. They refused to follow through with this because they did it in secret. They were blaming the couple for overhearing their gossip session.
The man then told them since they didn't respect his partner, they would not be getting their gifts. He said, "They don't deserve the presents we got for them." It caused a shift in attitude and they readily agreed to apologize. Still, the man refused to give them the gifts. It has caused a major stir in the family. Some are on his side, while others believe he took it too far. It became so complicated that the event ended abruptly and everyone left."
The man came on Reddit for a third-party view. The comment section believed that he was in the right for standing up for his partner. u/CandleFuture618 commented that cousins had it coming, "NTA, NTA, NTA. How are you going to treat someone so bad at their function? Personally, that would be the recension of all future invites of those involved. The fact that they made it out to be a grab for the gifts is disgusting. They didn't come for the family, they came to get free stuff and that level of toxicity is never invited to our events. I'd truly not buy them gifts again. And to treat your boyfriend in such a manner only shows their respect for you and your life. I'll say it again, NTA Court adjourned." u/superhibiscus pointed out the problem with the reasoning, "So, according to them, the problem was that you and your boyfriend heard the jokes, not that the jokes were hurtful to begin with? NTA."