Man takes away ex-wife's alimony despite her financial struggles, asks the internet if he's wrong

Separations between parents affect their children in varied ways. While fathers are mostly ordered by the court to pay child support or alimony, at times, their exes take advantage of it. u/Key-Dot-8409 sparked a conversation in the Reddit community after he revealed that he had ordered his lawyer to terminate the alimony he was paying to his ex-wife, despite having a 12-year-old son together. Until recently, the 41-year-old father revealed that he had been paying alimony even though his ex-wife began dating someone two years ago, and that man had moved in with her.

The couple divorced five years ago, and ever since then, the dad has been paying child support or alimony to his ex-wife. After they divorced, his ex-wife also took in her sister's 10-year-old son, and they started living in their old home, which had three bedrooms. Almost two years ago, his ex-wife started dating a guy and is currently four months pregnant.

"He [his ex-wife's boyfriend] moved in about the same time she found out she was pregnant. He has a daughter from a previous relationship. His daughter was given her room and my son and his cousin now share a room," the dad wrote.

"My son is upset about this and asked to live with me full time. I went to my lawyer and began the process of getting full custody. I have wanted full custody since we divorced, but my son had never indicated he wanted that, so I did not push for it," he continued. Also, the dad was informed by his lawyer that he had the right to terminate the alimony in their state since his ex-wife was living with her boyfriend. His previous lawyer had misinformed him about the alimony laws, telling the man that he could stop paying the sum only if his ex-wife got married.

"The court has ended the alimony. The custody is taking longer and won't be decided until after the holidays. My ex is angry about the loss of alimony because she is only working part time and her boyfriend is a medically retired fireman. So they are struggling financially. But, I feel that with this extra money, I could put away for my kid down the line," the man concluded his post, wondering if he made the right decision. The Reddit community came to his support and assured him that he made the right move by prioritizing his son, even though it left his ex-wife in financial ruin.

u/chez2202 remarked, "This woman got your marital home, alimony, and child support. Then she took in her nephew. Then she took in her boyfriend and his child and made your son, the only child you should have been paying for, share a bedroom. On what planet is it reasonable for her to expect you to pay for her, her nephew, her boyfriend, his child, and their upcoming baby?" u/RockerStubbs mentioned, "Sounds like your alimony was paying for a whole house full of people! Get custody of your son if you both want it. Then you don't have to pay child support either. Highly likely that money is not going to just your son."

u/manik4578 added, "You've gone above and beyond in fulfilling your responsibilities. Supporting your son is your obligation, and you've done so. But extending that support to her new household, which includes unrelated individuals, is entirely unreasonable. She's chosen to take on those responsibilities, and it's not your duty to subsidize her decisions, especially when it comes at the expense of your son's comfort and well-being. You've been more than fair, and it's time for her to step up and manage her household independently."