The granddaughter is in dilemma whether she is being mean by not sharing her inheritance with her family who never supported her.
Families are complicated. Just because social norms dictate that parents and children should have a loving relationship does not mean that it happens in all cases. In such cases, it is a better alternative to leave toxic relationships behind and pursue a more healthy life. That is what u/Pretend_Canary_9411 did when she was not treated kindly by her family. She moved on and broke all ties with them but now has a decision on her hand that can decide their financial fate.
Having received a good inheritance from her grandfather, the Reddit user is confused about whether she is being mean-spirited by not sharing the money to help her family. Therefore she posted on the subreddit to get people's opinions. u/Pretend_Canary_9411 gave context to her situation at the beginning of her post. She shared that the issue started when her fiance cheated on her with her older sister. The sisters never had a close relationship and after finding out about the betrayal, the user was flabbergasted.
She left her fiance and her sister got into a relationship with him. Their relationship did not last two weeks and the older sister got dumped. During the ordeal, the parents took the Reddit user's side, but after the older sister suffered a nervous breakdown, they became soft. Ultimately they asked her to forget all about the betrayal by saying, "It's over now and you can't be mad forever."
It caused u/Pretend_Canary_9411 to break her relationship with her parents and shift to the other side of the country for her education. Throughout all of this, she was supported only by her grandfather, who was immensely angry with the entire family for their treatment of their younger daughter. Unfortunately, he got sick last fall and u/Pretend_Canary shifted to remote work and came back in order to take care of him. But he passed away a few months ago. The relationship between her and her grandfather became so strong that to her surprise, he left her virtually everything. The amount in the inheritance even shocked her as she never expected her grandfather to have so much money. The money would be enough to set her up for life and will also be of immense help to her parents.
Also, her parents are taken aback by the grandfather's will. They believe he took this decision due to the conflict that happened between the sisters. The parents have requested u/Pretend_Canary_9411 to share the inheritance. The inheritance will help the parents retire and will be of use to the older sister, who cannot hold a job. u/Pretend_Canary does not want to disrespect her grandad's wish. But seeing her family's condition has gotten her into a crossroads, as in her own words, "I don't want them to suffer necessarily, but I also don't feel like they deserve my help."
The Redditor does think that she might be operating with "vindictiveness," a little bit. Her family never apologized for what they did to her, and it was only this inheritance that forced them to take her into consideration. It does give her delight to have this hold over them. This is making her more confused about whether her decision is coming from a place of selfishness because this money could genuinely help both her parents and sister. Therefore, she wanted suggestions on how to approach the situation and whether she is in the right in this situation.
The comment section largely empathized with u/Pretend_Canary and asked her to do as she wished in the situation. u/SunshineKittenYESYES suggested that she remove herself from such circumstances, "I'm so sorry your Pawpaw has gone. He sounds very loving and interesting by the way you speak about him here. That said, set your family connections on fire and walk away. That's what he would have wanted, and he granted you the means to do so. Walk tall, you've earned this." u/FinnFinnFinnegan believes this is a toxic situation, "NTA, don't share money with your truly terrible family. They don't deserve it. Take a nice, long vacation. And cut them off completely."