Man supports his granddaughter against her obstructive family by giving her all his inheritance

Families are complicated. While social norms suggest that parents and children should have a loving bond, that's not always the case. Sometimes, it's healthier to walk away from toxic relationships, which is exactly what Reddit user u/Pretend_Canary_9411 did after being mistreated by her family. She moved on and cut all ties, but now she faces a decision that could determine her family's financial future.

After inheriting a significant sum from her grandfather, the Reddit user is torn about whether she’s being too harsh by not sharing the money with her family. To get some perspective, she turned to Reddit for advice. In her post, u/Pretend_Canary_9411 explained that the conflict began when her fiancé cheated on her with her older sister. The sisters had never been close, and discovering this betrayal left her stunned.

She broke up with her fiancé, who then started dating her sister. That relationship quickly fell apart, lasting less than two weeks before her sister was dumped. Initially, their parents supported the Reddit user, but after her sister had a nervous breakdown, they softened their stance. Eventually, they asked her to let go of the betrayal, saying, "It's over now, and you can't stay mad forever."

This led u/Pretend_Canary_9411 to cut ties with her parents and move across the country for school. Throughout all of this, she was supported only by her grandfather, who was immensely angry with the entire family for their treatment of their younger daughter. Unfortunately, he got sick last fall and u/Pretend_Canary shifted to remote work and came back in order to take care of him. But he passed away a few months ago. The relationship between her and her grandfather became so strong that to her surprise, he left her virtually everything. The amount in the inheritance even shocked her as she never expected her grandfather to have so much money. The money would be enough to set her up for life and will also be of immense help to her parents.

Her parents were shocked by the contents of the will, suspecting that the decision was influenced by the conflict between the sisters. The parents have requested u/Pretend_Canary_9411 to share the inheritance. The inheritance will help the parents retire and will be of use to the older sister, who cannot hold a job. u/Pretend_Canary does not want to disrespect her grandad's wish. But seeing her family's condition has gotten her into a crossroads, as in her own words, "I don't want them to suffer necessarily, but I also don't feel like they deserve my help." 

The Redditor does think that she might be operating with "vindictiveness," a little bit. Her family never apologized for what they did to her, and it was only this inheritance that forced them to take her into consideration. It does give her delight to have this hold over them. This is making her more confused about whether her decision is coming from a place of selfishness because this money could genuinely help both her parents and sister. Therefore, she wanted suggestions on how to approach the situation and whether she is in the right in this situation.

The comment section largely empathized with u/Pretend_Canary and asked her to do as she wished in the situation. u/SunshineKittenYESYES suggested that she remove herself from such circumstances, "I'm so sorry your Pawpaw has gone. He sounds very loving and interesting by the way you speak about him here. That said, set your family connections on fire and walk away. That's what he would have wanted, and he granted you the means to do so. Walk tall, you've earned this." u/FinnFinnFinnegan believes this is a toxic situation, "NTA, don't share money with your truly terrible family. They don't deserve it. Take a nice, long vacation. And cut them off completely."

Editor's note: This article was originally published on August 23, 2023. It has since been updated.