Dad spent years in silence after his wife died until his daughter found him whispering to her ashes
'I’ve been trying so hard to 'move on, but seeing that made me realize that maybe you never really do.'
A man lost his wife and couldn't cope well with her absence. He grew quieter and transformed into a different person. Nobody could really understand the love he had for his wife until their child watched him talk to her ashes. Their child (u/beginning-loan-3252) shared the heartbreaking story on Reddit on October 27, 2025.
The man lost his wife to cancer about two years ago, but he couldn't move past the loss. "My dad barely said a word for months after. He kept her ashes on the dresser in their room," the child wrote. Once, the author had left their charger in their dad's room, and when they went to collect it, they found their father talking to someone. There was no one in the room, so who was he talking to? Well, the man was talking to his wife's ashes. "Not like praying, but actually talking to her. He said things like, 'I made the soup wrong again; you’d laugh if you saw it,' and 'I think I heard your song in the car today.' Then he said, 'I still set your side of the bed because I can’t sleep if it’s cold,'" the author recalled. They were shocked, and they didn't want their dad to know that they had heard his conversations. "I just stood outside the door, ugly crying quietly. It broke me. I’ve been trying so hard to 'move on,' but seeing that made me realize that maybe you never really do. You just keep living next to the hole they left," the author concluded.
Losing a partner is never easy. It's like a part of you that has gone away, and nothing can prepare you to face it. Now, loss comes with grief, and different people have different ways to cope with it. In fact, David Kessler, a death and grieving expert, told Literary Hub, "Each person’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint. But what everyone has in common is that no matter how they grieve, they share a need for their grief to be witnessed. That doesn’t mean needing someone to try to lessen it or reframe it for them. The need is for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining." While some may avoid even talking about someone they have lost, others find solace in their memories, just like the man in the story.
Meanwhile, reacting to the Reddit post, u/unfair-spend5955 commented, "That’s not grief; that’s love that hasn’t found a new place to go yet. It doesn’t fade; it just changes shape. Your dad still has her with him in the only way he knows how. That’s heartbreakingly human." u/cordeliajj said, "Thank you for making me bawl my eyes out in the middle of work right now. This. This 100%, I still talk to my mom in my head like she is around. It's the only thing I have, and that keeps her with me still."
u/somuchsaudade shared, "My dad’s ashes live on the dining room table. My stepmom eats dinner with him every night. To some, it may be weird, but to her, it brings a modicum of comfort in what has become a shitty world. They went from planning their retirement (Dad had bought a boat they were going to live on) to him dead and her disabled in a matter of weeks (thanks, COVID)… It has been a rough transition for her." u/memeth confessed, "I lost my mom a few years ago and my dad about 6 months ago. I talk to both of them sometimes. I also have pictures on the mantel, and sometimes I’ll touch the front of the picture and say, 'Love you, miss you.'"
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