Brother asked him to write a glowing 'good father' letter for custody court. He refused to tell a lie about something he'd never witnessed

Custody battles are already incredibly messy and challenging for any parent, and lies make the situation even worse. A 35-year-old man (u/no-active-5116) experienced it firsthand when he saw his brother going through a difficult divorce. It all started when his brother insisted he tell the court he'd seen him taking care of his two kids. The author wanted to help his brother, but things escalated when he refused to lie to the court. The refusal eventually led to an ugly spat between the two brothers. Confused, the author turned to Reddit on July 16, 2026, to ask for advice.

Choosing truth over family 

A few days ago, the author said his brother asked him to write a statement saying he had seen him take care of his two kids on weekends and after school. "The problem is... I haven't," the author said. He said that his brother loves his kids, but because of work, he had always neglected them. In fact, most of the time, the author said that their parents or his brother's ex had to take care of the kids in his absence. "I've watched the kids myself plenty of times because he couldn't make it," he recalled. So, even though the author keenly wished to support his brother in gaining custody of his children, he refused to lie in court. He didn’t want to make claims that he didn’t have evidence for.

Caught in the crossfire

Ever since the author said no, he said a tussle has erupted between him and his brother. His brother is now blaming him for taking his ex’s side. His parents, too, are siding with their elder son, saying that he’ll lose his kids if he does not lie. But the author still believes that it isn’t the right thing to lie in a custody case. As of now, he’s entangled in the dilemma: to save his brother with perjury or to do what’s best for his niece and nephew.

Behind the custody battles

Many might be surprised by the Reddit story, but such custody battles are far from uncommon — and the research shows just how complex they can be. According to statistics compiled by MySplitifi, 79.3% of the custody cases end with mothers as the primary custodian, while only 12.9% end with fathers as the primary custodian. But according to a report by Duke University Press, if the custody endangers the child’s physical, mental, or emotional health, the child is entitled to physical placement with both parents, in what experts call “shared custody.” In shared custody, a child stays with one parent 25% to 49% of the time and with the other parent 51% to 75% of the time. For both the children and the separating parents, custody disputes are stressful. Only 35% resolve within 6 months, while 5% drag on for years. 

'Don't lie for him'

Meanwhile, reacting to the post, u/leosmom2020 commented, “No, you chose the well-being of two innocent children. There are no sides in a custody battle, and to lie for him, to me, means you wouldn’t care about the best interests of the children. Which clearly you do. Thank you for doing the right thing!” u/DakotaDextraa said. "Dude, if his parenting skills were a pizza delivery, I wouldn’t want to put my name on a review that says it arrived hot and fresh when it actually showed up cold and late!"

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