Man refuses to invite brother's girlfriend for Thanksgiving after she insults wife, sparking debate

Sometimes, people are forced to stand their ground and say a firm no, even if their loved ones are involved. Such a situation occurs when these "loved ones" overstep a boundary, making it necessary to let them know that their actions are wrong and unwelcome. Similarly, when a man's brother's girlfriend, Lindsey, disrespected his wife, Lily, he refused to invite her for Thanksgiving dinner. However, this action upset his brother. Now, the man wondered if he was wrong. So, he, u/Socallivin1993, took to Reddit to share the incident and ask for people's opinions.

"I am married to Lily. My brother, Josh, recently started dating Lindsey and while she's been polite at family events, Lily feels Lindsey has made some passive-aggressive comments," the 31-year-old man began. "For example, at a recent BBQ, Lindsey said it was 'selfish' that Lily and I weren’t planning to have kids anytime soon. Lily felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t say anything at the time." He added, "Another incident happened at a family dinner when Lindsey remarked, 'I'm surprised you two are so happy without kids. You must be really good at being selfish.' Lily was hurt by that comment, and it made her feel like Lindsey was judging our life choices. Most recently, at a birthday party, Lindsey made a comment about Lily's career, saying, 'It's cute that you're working part-time with no kids while Josh and I are really focusing on our careers.'"

"Lily was annoyed but didn't say anything because she didn't want to start drama," the husband revealed. "Thanksgiving is at our house this year and when Josh asked if he could bring Lindsey, I told him I'd prefer if she didn't come. I explained that some of her comments had made Lily feel disrespected and I didn't want that to ruin the holiday." The denial to invite Lindsey upset Josh and he blamed his brother for being "petty." "He argued that I was overreacting and that Lindsey was 'just being honest,' but I stood my ground. Now Josh says he won't come if Lindsey isn't invited, and my parents are caught in the middle." The man added, "My mom thinks I'm being too harsh, but I feel like I'm just standing up for my wife." He asked for people's advice and opinions.

u/Lizwings wrote, "I understand either of them being shocked into silence at the moment, but the person is still phrasing everything as the wife being bothered, not him. I don't hear anything about how the remarks were objectively rude. It's like it's all the wife's fault that she's having (justifiable) feelings, apparently, and the husband is just defending her reactions rather than being mad and offended by the remarks himself."

u/epichuntarz commented, "By proxy, brother is also guilty of insulting Lily. I wouldn't want him there either. And if your parents take your brother's side and choose not to come, then so be it. Ask your mom why it's OK for Lindsey to belittle and demean your wife without repercussions and why it's OK for your brother to insult your wife by defending his girlfriend." u/PassageSignificant28 remarked, "Why do you feel the need to be 'honest' about your feelings about a subject that isn't any of her business? In kindergarten, they teach you about having 'big feelings' and how to manage them. That dumb girl and your brother need to relearn basic manners. Have them all eat together, then if she can't shut her mouth. OMG, I'm so mad."