Man refuses to get his date water, calling it 'subservience'— so she got up and walked out mid-date

What is the best way to make your loved ones, especially romantic interests, feel special? While most of us might think of over-the-top, grand gestures, it is mostly the small, thoughtful efforts that truly matter. A meaningful text, being attentive, and of course, listening when they speak can mean the world to them. On a similar note, u/important-pianist783 on Reddit posted about how their date brushed off a basic request for a glass of water, referring to it as an act of "subservience."

They had been seeing their date for quite some time, and the two had met each other through mutual friends. With time, the couple often showed up at events together with them always arriving prepared, never empty-handed. Similarly, once when they were invited to a holiday-themed party with friends, they decided to make homemade mulled wine for the gathering. The couple arrived at the party and everything seemed perfect until they asked their date to get a glass of water. "I was sitting on the couch, blocked in by only my date on one side and many others on my other side. I was tired and didn’t feel like tightly squeezing past people I didn’t know, so I asked my date if he could grab me a glass of water," they revealed.

Listening to their date's simple request, his bizarre reaction left them baffled. He simply said, "No. I was just up, and you could’ve asked before I sat down again," while shaking his head. They did not react much but decided to leave the party early because of how tired the couple was. Just as they were about to leave the party, their date chose to walk them out of the venue. "As we walked out, I jokingly mentioned how you not getting me water surprised me." He replied, "Wow, that really upset you, huh? I have to be guarded about these things, you know," they claimed. Interestingly, the man seemed more annoyed that his date had left early rather than attempting to understand why they were so exhausted in the first place. Later, when his date decided to contact him, he did not pick up the phone.

"Two days later, I called to discuss what happened. He said he’d call that evening but didn’t reach out until three days later, saying, 'I’m not dodging you; I’ve just been busy,'” they wrote. They were annoyed because their date never acknowledged their efforts to clear up the misunderstanding. "A month later, we finally had a conversation. He explained that getting me water felt 'subservient' and was something I had to earn through time and 'being in the trenches with him,'” they revealed. Moreover, the man blamed them for not being aware of his oh-so-busy schedule—even though they worked several jobs. "After reflecting, I feel his responses and handling of the situation were disrespectful and indicative of bigger issues," they shared.

Meanwhile, reacting to the post, u/shells17619 commented, "His use of the word subservient and his need to have his ego stroked for 'being so busy' makes me wonder if he’s the worst kind of chauvinist. Just let him go. Not worth it." Similarly, u/agilesurprise1966, who slammed the man for his unreasonable behavior, wrote, "That 'need to be guarded' comment was your welcome into a world of weirdness from this dude. Let him frolic in the manosphere on his own. You dodged a bullet." u/blitzen_13 shared, "You are not wrong for leaving the party. But you should think about why you kept pursuing this person for weeks afterward when they had clearly either lost interest completely or were playing some emotionally manipulative game by making you feel you were in the wrong. Don't fall for it. They are not worth a single moment more of your time."