Man refuses to add partner to mortgage because he didn't pay the house deposit, asks if he's wrong

Money and relationships do not always mix well. It is one thing to split dinner bills or share rent, but when it comes to something as big as buying a house, expectations can get complicated pretty quickly. That’s exactly the dilemma a 26-year-old man, a user on Reddit known as u/Appropriate-Way416, faces. The man recently reached a huge personal milestone. He had saved for years and was finally ready to buy a house. He had worked hard for it and was excited to share the news with his 23-year-old boyfriend. But rather than celebrating with him, his boyfriend started acting distant.

"Ever since I mentioned it, my boyfriend has been acting off," he mentioned in his post. "He's implied multiple times that he should be added to the mortgage if he's going to live there with me." He went on to explain the real issue. "The thing is, he hasn't contributed any savings or a deposit. I've tried to explain that this is something I've worked hard for, and I'm not comfortable putting him on the mortgage, especially since we've only been dating for two years," he explained. But despite his reasoning, his boyfriend kept bringing it up. "Now he's asking repeatedly, almost as if it's something I owe him, and his attitude about it is putting me off," he admitted.

He further explained that rather than celebrating the milestone with him, his boyfriend "seems upset and left out."

"I feel torn because I don't want to make him unhappy, but I also feel like this is an unfair expectation," he shared. After observing the boyfriend's behavior, the man questioned whether he was being unreasonable for keeping the mortgage in his name. The post quickly gained traction, with over 20k upvotes and many users weighing in on the situation.

u/OkieLady1952 didn't hold back and wrote, "I wouldn't give him anything ring or not! He’s put absolutely nothing into this house and he expects half ownership! Definitely an entitled gold digger. It's time for him to move on. If he says he has nowhere to go, tell him he should have thought of that before he started making demands."

u/1melissasp added, "A good partner would recognize OP’s hard work and celebrate the achievement. The fact that he’s upset instead of being supportive is a problem." u/Far_Information_9613 said, "He is a gold digger. Don’t make it difficult to get rid of him."

u/LongjumpingDesk4026 chimed in, "Not being unreasonable. His reaction to you is speaking volumes, to be honest! You don’t owe him anything, if you did want him to be on the mortgage just do a declaration of trust that way the deposit is still yours, if you do split up."

u/Oh-yes-I-did offered practical advice, "Make sure you have a cohabitation agreement in place before you both move into a house that you purchased. It’ll prevent arguments since both parties will know what’s expected in advance. If he gets upset and refuses, it’s time to move on. You have to protect your own interests. Especially given that you haven’t been together for a long time and you’re both so young. Many changes ahead for both of you."