Man rants about women demanding 'effort' in relationships — and then walks into his own trap

For all the talk about love languages and relationship dynamics, one word seems to come up again and again: effort. It’s built on the small, everyday things you choose to do for one another — and that takes commitment, both to each other and to the bond you’re building. For many people, effort is what makes the difference between feeling seen and feeling overlooked. Yet, not everyone grasps its value right away until they face it head-on. That’s what happened to comedian Andrew Schulz, who set out to question the whole concept and ended up proving its point mid-conversation. In a video shared on Instagram (@andrewschulz), Schulz begins by voicing a familiar frustration. 

He said, "Why with women is everything about effort? Like, why does the effort not matter when I go to work? What is this? 'I want you to write a card.' What are you talking about?" He seems genuinely perplexed by the idea that love requires more than showing up. But the moment shifts when his co-host, comedian Akaash Singh, asks him, "If your girl orders food for you or cooks food for you, which one means more?" Schulz admits, "I like it when she cooks. But if she was like, 'I’d rather just order,' I’m totally cool with that. I just like the fact that she put uh..." There’s a pause, and then the realization hits when Singh shouts, "Oooooh yeah."

One person behind the camera even asked Schulz, "'I just like the fact that she puts' what?" In trying to argue that effort is overrated, Schulz ends up showing exactly why it matters. In a detailed clip of the podcast posted on their YouTube channel Flagrant Clips, Schulz further admits, "Effort... I think I get it now, 'cause if my girl made dinner or bought a super expensive dinner, it’s really the fact that there was dinner there when I got home. It’s not that she paid for it. Right? That makes sense. And they would love a really nice card, or like, a thoughtful date, like, you pay attention to a story she told you one time, and then that shows up somehow. So I see, okay, I’m starting to understand a little bit now."

Although Schulz recognizes it only now, research has constantly highlighted the value of effort in relationships. In fact, a study published in the European Journal of Personality revealed that couples who believe love grows over time through shared commitment and work, rather than something predetermined, tend to be happier and more satisfied. That day-to-day participation, even in small things, is what builds trust and emotional closeness over time.

Viewers immediately picked up on the irony and Schulz’s moment of self-correction, and didn’t hold back in their reactions. @bat__drunk wrote, "Men calling men out is the only genre that should dominate the internet now." @jordyn.conway said, "We just watched his frontal lobe fully form." @__anya11 commented, "That’s right! You love it when she puts in effort. And that’s exactly what we women want — reciprocity. This is what I call touché." @hopigirl04 added, "I’ve never seen someone prove themselves wrong SO fast." @cindycatt noted, "'Can someone please explain to me the effort sh**?' proceeds to explain it to himself." @t.e.a.l.j.o.y.m wrote, "The satisfaction I felt when the 'oooohhhh' and music started."

You can follow Andrew Schulz (@andrewschulz) on Instagram for more comedy videos.