Bonisile Mgidi is hands-on while taking care of his baby, and his parenting style as a man and a Black dad is busting stereotypes.
Being a parent to a newborn is a 24x7 job as one father found out. Bonisile Mgidi shared his journey of becoming a father and how it changed him and his schedule, and it's one of the most relatable things as far as parenting is concerned. Becoming parents is often romanticized in pop culture but Bonisile's here to break stereotypes to reveal that it's all shit. Literally. "Parenting a baby is all about poop. What color is it? When last did they poop?" he wrote in a Twitter thread, detailing his honest experience of being a dad to his daughter Mihla for over five months. It also breaks the stereotype of Black men not being good fathers. Bonisile is as hands-on as it gets and a role model for any parent out there.
Bonisile learned on the job and now has his own playlist to put the baby to sleep. He also learned from experience that he needs to carry extra clothes for the baby and for himself. Here's Bonisile's amazing thread and the pearls of wisdom he had for new parents:
10 Things I learnt in my 160 days as Mihla's father [Thread] pic.twitter.com/AhuLhSgslP— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
1. Parenting a baby is all about poop. What colour is it? When last did they poop? Did they struggle while pooping? Do we have enough nappies for the next 10 poops? Let me take a picture of this poop to show the doctor. Now your gallery is full of poop. pic.twitter.com/IYPUWBkxy5— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
2. There will be outfits they only wear once before outgrowing them. This hurts. Try not to buy expensive outfits. pic.twitter.com/hpfyhjzSBl— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
3. You are not frustrated, you just haven't been smiled at. No matter how frustrated you are with babies they will defuse you with a smile. Manipulative little pricks those ones. 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
4. A backup outfit for the baby is ideal but a backup outfit for yourself is even more important. They will puke on you and laugh. Yes, Black ke colour ya manyora but puke stains look worse on it. pic.twitter.com/ToFjs5mxtL— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
5. You need to have a database of 24hr pharmacies. Try the pharmacies in hospitals. They either close late or are open 24 hours. After a while they will know you by name.— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
6. Read on parenting quite a lot. Have a book or an online resource to use. I recommend this book. It has kept me sane. It even has a black baby and a white baby on the cover so Mandela will be happy 🤣 pic.twitter.com/nLofplECyb— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
7. Have a playlist. I have compiled a playlist that I use to disarm her when she is angry or annoyed. I have tested it on my friends' babies too. Babies love these songs. Here is the link to the Apple Music playlist I curated.https://t.co/6HjMAbUzHD pic.twitter.com/PqtIDmAM4T— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
8. You might think you are a nice person but in fact you are a sadistict being who will find joy in your baby rejecting other people and wanting you. Sies! pic.twitter.com/1kYnkcQJqa— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
9. These things are always trying to die. Your job is to stop them. They will want to rollover a bed, they will want to chew on the tip of your laptop charger, they will want to swallow the coin that just fell out of your pocket. Your job is suicide watch.— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
Don't slip. pic.twitter.com/FR3bWhT1v5
10. Your routine completely changes. If support is available use it. If you can afford a nanny get one If you are in business then take your usual deadlines and add a day or two. If you have understanding clients like mine you might even bring the little brat to a few meetings. pic.twitter.com/cU2w7p5A05— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
Bonisile spoke to Bored Panda about what surprised him the most about becoming a new dad. “I know it sounds stupid because what the hell were you expecting? But it is always there. It is not a bra you can take off at the end of a long day or a belt you can unbuckle," he said. "This shouldn’t have surprised me but it did. A baby is just always there, you have to live for yourself and for it too. It’s weird having another person this reliant on you.”
[BONUS LESSON] Your phone does not have enough space for all the pictures you will take. Not even your 128GB phone. If you have an Android device get a memory card just for the baby pics. If you have an iPhone just get another one for baby pics, akere wena you are rich 🤣 pic.twitter.com/Q9wqsNaZqM— Bonisile M. (@Bonisile_RMS) January 25, 2021
Bonisile also said that parenting during the pandemic has been a blessing as he and his partner were working from home and were very involved in raising their child and sharing the responsibilities. “I know that tomorrow and the day after that there is a 90% chance I will be at home with my partner and child just shutting the whole world out,” said Bonisile. He added that everyone has their own parenting style and it's about finding what works for your child, you and your partner. "We are defining our own parenting, challenging our cultures and taking in as much information as we can, and seeing how we can adapt that to our personalities," he said.
Wow, so well said daddy🤣🤣 I used to think it's just a mom struggle, men are ment to bring nothing but money, I guess not. Happy to see a man I can relate to here on parentville!— Mimi (@Mimi_blackk) January 25, 2021
Others lauded his parenting style and so many people found it relatable. "I've been a single dad for almost his life, I raised my son alone without his mom when he was 3 months old and today he's 3 years 8 months. Imagine as a man keep changing Nappies every time you with him, but I got used to that and it started building a close bond to us as Father and Son❤️," wrote one person. Many hands-on dads shared adorable pictures with their kids and their own personal experiences as well and added that Bonisile Mgidi's thread was very relatable.
I read it and just remembered my daughter decided to play I an jumping after bathing her she fell of the bed , few days later she tried to swallow lid of a coke 2 litter drink . Hai hai— MoraliOaQhobane (@Qhobane) January 25, 2021
This is beautiful🥺😍....i have a 16 months old i sometimes wish i can take him back to his newborn stage. Toddlers are monsters😭— Hunadi Meludi (@HunadiMeludi) January 25, 2021
I've been a dad for 12 years to this one and I can confirm that everything this man said is true... Also when they reach their toddler stage please ask where they got the water for 'Tea' when they're playing with the tea-set... I gulped about a litre of toilet water pic.twitter.com/ra51oBcMB4— SonOfMalcolm (@SonOfMalcolm1) January 25, 2021