Woman skeptical of age-gap relationships rejected two men in their 30s for her current boyfriend. Three months later, she found out his real age

At what point does lying become a dealbreaker in a relationship? A 26-year-old woman who goes by u/httpslinebine on Reddit asked the same after discovering that the man she had been dating had lied to her about his age. Well, because of her previous relationship, the woman had consciously chosen to date only people around her age. However, three months into the relationship, she discovered that her boyfriend, who had been pretending to be 31, was actually 15 years older than her. The shocking truth has left her questioning her feelings for the man. The post was shared on July 9 and has received over 2,000 upvotes.

A secret dealbreaker

The author once randomly guessed his age and was happy as her boyfriend said he was only 31 years old. From the beginning, she had been vocal about not wanting to date someone much older because of the 10-year age gap between her and her ex. It was one of the reasons behind their break-up, the author said. But despite knowing how she felt about dating older men, her boyfriend kept lying about his real age for 3 months. Moreover, the author said she believed that his experience, ambitions, and accomplishments made him stand out at a young age. As time passed, she fell for him because the man treated her with utmost respect and care. The author also admitted that she felt emotionally safe with him. However, she later found out that the man she'd been dating was 41 years old.

A web of lies

Suddenly, the author's perception of her boyfriend changed. She wrote, "I suddenly see him in a completely different light. The things I admired him for feel different now." The author explained that he had several chances to tell her the truth, but he kept lying about his age. In fact, it was not the first time her boyfriend had lied to her. During their first date, the man lied about his job, his ethnic background, and even where he lived. However, the author overlooked it. "He lied for three months, even though I repeatedly told him that honesty is one of the most important things to me in a relationship," she confessed. Moreover, the woman recalled how she'd rejected two other men she met along with her boyfriend because they were in their late thirties. "I consciously chose the man I believed was closer to my own age," she added.

Is lying normal?

Lying in a relationship is never a good thing, but a majority of Americans have lied to their partners more than once (49%), a YouGov survey revealed. Surprisingly, only 19% of respondents reported never lying to a significant other. In fact, 6% of respondents confessed to lying every day, but fortunately, 40% admitted to saying only white lies to their partners. However, in the case of the author and her boyfriend, the couple started their relationship based on lies, which made the situation worse.

'Dump him'

Meanwhile, people advised the author to break up with her boyfriend immediately because lying about one's age is a big red flag. u/Outrageous-Garlic-27 commented, "I had a similar case twice. Guy was dumped immediately. If he lies about his age, you cannot trust him. What is a 41 year old doing, pretending to be 31 and chasing 26-year-olds?" u/TrashGouda wrote, "If this a dealbreaker or not, it is up to you. But for me it would. This is a very big lie especially since you wouldn't have dated him if you knew his real age. Which means for me he took your ability to give informed consent."

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