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Man uses 'kicked in the nuts' analogy to explain the fear, trauma women constantly live through

The author inverted an entire ecosystem to help men understand what it feels like to live in constant fear of being attacked.

Man uses 'kicked in the nuts' analogy to explain the fear, trauma women constantly live through
Image source: Twitter/JuliusGoat

Trigger warning: This story contains themes of sexual assault that some readers may find distressing.

In the eyes of men, violence against women has been largely normalized. They don't feel empathy or understand that every woman constantly lives under the fear of being sexually assaulted. A recent study showed that 86% of the women in the UK had been sexually harassed or assaulted in public spaces at some point in their lives. A majority of the men's first response in the case of attack is always to tell women what they should have done differently, as opposed to questioning the assaulters. "You should have dressed appropriately." "You shouldn't have taken that road." "You shouldn't be out late." These are some of the common statements that women get to hear after being assaulted. At no point are men held accountable for their actions. 


Author A.R. Moxon drew a parallel to help men understand the deeply embedded toxic environment that women have to live through on a daily basis. Since most men couldn't really grasp the trauma that comes with being sexually assaulted, he presented it in a way that men could relate to — getting kicked in the nuts. While it may sound like an outrageous parallel, it makes sense as you go through the thread. Many women appeared to agree and tipped their hats to Moxon for the creative parallel.


The author said the core issue was the lack of empathy from men. “Speaking on the societally-macro level, empathy has been largely a one-way street when it comes to gender roles and dynamics,” Moxon told Bored Panda. “In my experience, women are empathetic toward men, while men tend not to be particularly empathetic toward women.” He also added that women are forced to gauge what men are thinking all the time because in many cases it's a matter of survival. Men, on the other hand, could remain ignorant of women's feelings and carry on with their life because they didn't feel threatened the way women did. 


“When women tell their stories of living with danger and vulnerability in abusive relationships and of survival from assault, our first instinct appears to be to protect ourselves from personal culpability and accountability," said Moxon, which also explains why a majority of men's first reaction to any high-profile sexual assault case is to get the hashtag "#Notallmen" trending on social media platforms. Moxon said he's aware the analogy isn't in any way perfect but he just wanted something that men could relate to.


"I chose nut-kicking because there isn’t a man alive that doesn’t understand exactly what a nut-shot is, and, with very few exceptions, none who would ever want it or seek it out or go out ‘asking’ for it,'” he said. “Most importantly, no man confuses getting kicked in the nuts with sex. It’s very clearly violence, even though it involves sex organs. The idea of growing up in a society where getting hoofed in the balls is normalized behaviour, systematically if tacitly allowed by a complicit society, and frequently confused with a pleasurable activity like sex, would rightfully be horrifying to any guy.” He added that the world has become so twisted that women were being targeted for even opening up about being sexually assaulted. “In such a society, the telling of wrong is itself seen as the wrong. It’s unutterably sad," he added.











He also drew parallels with former President Donald Trump and the Access Hollywood tape, in which Trump bragged about grabbing women's genitals.



He wrapped up the thread by asking men to be more kind to women and to also call out men who were abusive and cruel to them.


If you are being subjected to sexual assault, or know of anyone who is, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673)

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