A man turned to the internet for advice on whether it's a big deal if he is not comfortable giving out his real name at Starbucks as the act seemed to upset his girlfriend.
The world is populated by 8.1 billion people, each of whom has a different personality, opinions, comfort levels, perspectives and outlook toward their lives. Everyone has some quirks, habits, and behaviors that are justified in their heads as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. Along similar lines, a recent Reddit thread resonated with the masses for a 22-year-old man’s personal decision to not give out his real name at Starbucks and other cafes. We might have all faked it there and lied or withheld private information at some point in our lives when we weren’t in the mood to share it. While that may seem like perfectly normal and a personal choice, the man’s girlfriend didn’t seem to think so leaving the man questioning his choice.
The man shared on Reddit as user u/solecism18 that he never likes giving out his real name at places where they shout it out loud when the order’s ready. His reasons are not anything particular but just that it “creeps” him out when his name is called out in “a room full of strangers”. He says, “I guess it's just some (at least to me) harmless quirk I have.” He further explained that instead of his real name, he goes by “nothing inappropriate or outlandish just plain 'Tom'.” He also mentioned that he uses the same name every time so that there is no mix-up or confusion at his end and things were fine on the ‘Tom’ end until the coffee rendezvous with his new girlfriend.
The moment it went all downhill with his girlfriend was when the two went to Starbucks. He ordered their drinks and the moment ‘Tom’ was called out, he got their order, which left his girlfriend feeling confused. He said, “My girlfriend was a bit confused and asked me if I went and got someone else's order which is fair enough so I explained the thing to her and thought that's that but she got really angry.”
He shared his girlfriend’s insight into the matter, who found the entire thing to be “really disrespectful” because it means that he is “making everybody in the store out to be creeps who will do something bad” with the information of his name. The man then shared that his reason for taking on a fake name has nothing to do with disrespecting others but everything to do with his comfort level and liking. However, he disappointedly wrote, “But she can't see it like that, she thinks I am a pathological liar who is way too suspicious of everyone and I need to stop. I really can't see the problem she has, it's really not that deep.”
The man concluded his post by asking other Reddit users whether they thought his girlfriend was right. And the comments section had nothing but support for the man. One user u/Bear_faced said, “ I don’t think it’s 'disrespectful' (none of the Starbucks employees will know or care if you use a fake name) but it’s definitely weird that you think it matters in any way if a handful of random strangers hear a first name with no confirmation that it’s actually your name.”
Another user u/DontAskMeChit went a step ahead with a mix of his opinion on the issue and relationship advice, “I do the same thing, I have a common name that can sound like many other names so the confusion just adds up, so I give a name I can easily recognize. For your gf to get so worked up over it is a bit much. The good thing is that she is a new GF and you didn't invest too much time in the relationship. If she nitpicks about everything so much, perhaps you two aren't a good fit.”
While the internet seemed to side with the man and thought that the girlfriend’s reaction was a bit much, what might go unacknowledged is the girlfriend’s perspective behind this. Since everybody is different, having grown up in different atmospheres and environments, the reason behind some of our quirks is often enough for our mind but not enough for other’s understanding.