Man gets dumped after stopping mid-dinner to give girlfriend a 'relationship performance review'

As cliché as it might sound, matters of the heart likely shouldn’t be treated like a business. However, one boyfriend attempted just that by creating a performance report for his relationship, highlighting areas where he felt his girlfriend needed improvement—leaving her deeply disappointed. The woman, u/shi420-, ultimately threw the report away and questioned whether she was wrong in the scenario.

"I have been with my boyfriend, Mark, for three years. We live together in a small apartment, nothing fancy, but it works. Anyway, Mark’s always been a bit… particular about stuff," the woman began. "Like, he folds his socks into these little balls and gets all weird if I don’t. Whatever. I deal with it because I love him, you know?" She continued, "But recently, he’s been on this kick about 'optimizing' our life or whatever. He watches these YouTube dudes who say stuff like 'your partner should add value to your existence' and 'relationships are about ROI' and now he thinks he’s a genius." The woman went on, "So last week, we’re eating dinner, and out of nowhere, he goes, 'I think we need to have a performance review for our relationship.' I’m like, 'A WHAT now?'"

"He says it’s like at a job, where you check in and see if things are going well or need improvement. I honestly thought he was joking, so I laughed. Big mistake," the girlfriend recounted. "He pulls out a FOLDER. A legit, actual folder with papers in it. This man wrote up a whole list of stuff I need to 'improve on' like I’m a bad employee or something." The review included points like, "You’ve been slacking on cooking meals, and I feel like your gym attendance is inconsistent. Also, you don’t fold my socks the right way, which shows a lack of attention to detail." She continued, "I stared at him like he grew a second head. I said, 'Are YOU doing a performance review on ME?' And he’s like, 'Yes, but don’t take it personally. It’s just about making sure we’re both putting in 100%.'"

The woman asked where his performance review was. "And he blinks at me and says, 'Well, I don’t think that’s necessary because I’m already doing a lot,'" she revealed, "So I snapped. I said, 'Mark, I’m your girlfriend, not your employee. And if you want 100%, maybe try being a 100% boyfriend first.' I grabbed the folder and threw it in the trash. He got mad and said I was 'being emotional' and 'not open to constructive criticism.'" The post concluded, "Now he’s barely speaking to me and says I embarrassed him by overreacting. His best friend said I should’ve 'heard him out' because it’s a 'unique approach' to a relationship." People took to the comments section to offer their perspective on the situation.

u/Stormy8888 wrote, "List all the areas he could improve to be a 100% boyfriend. For everything he put in his performance review about her, she should put in three or four bullet points where he has to improve." u/spinjinn commented, "At the top of the list put his tone deaf and tactless way of approaching criticism, as evidenced by the fact that he thinks he didn’t need a report." u/Spiritual_Region_841 remarked, "Put him on a PIP (a performance improvement plan) and tell him he has one month to improve or he can go find a new job being a crappy boyfriend elsewhere."