Man found out his wife was secretly planning to leave him so he divorced her first, asks if he did wrong

Most marriages work best when both partners put equal effort into the relationship. Whether it is supporting each other in career choices or household chores, equal division of responsibilities brings stability in life. However, when one partner realizes that they are being "used" to climb the ladder of success, things can go wrong, often leading to separation. Likewise, a man who goes by—u/shoddy-armadillo-312 on Reddit, shared how he overheard a shocking conversation between his ex-wife and her friend, which ultimately led to their divorce. Basically, the man heard his ex-partner talking about leaving him once she had achieved career stability, which deeply bothered him. 

After years of marriage and two kids, his ex-wife decided to pursue a career change. After working as a labor and delivery nurse, the 32-year-old woman now wanted to become a specialist cancer nurse. Although the man was a little surprised at first, he decided to support her in every way possible. "She had always seemed happy with her career and our life with our two kids. But I know some people can spontaneously get the urge for something more or different so it wasn't a big deal," he revealed. The man willingly took more responsibilities since his ex-wife was busy juggling between her work and education. Everything was going smoothly until one fine day, he came back home early and heard his ex-wife and her friend discussing something that broke his heart. 

"My ex's friend was asking her how she could manage to stay married and keep up the pretense. My ex said if she left me she would never be able to make the career move. She wouldn't have the time to be a single parent and work and train for her specialty. And that I was able to support her through it as long as I didn't know. She wanted to get out of our marriage and would leave as soon as she secured a new job," the man revealed. He was, of course, disheartened but waited till her friend was gone and the kids were off to sleep. With overflowing emotions, the man confronted his ex-wife and told her "the marriage was over," and he was not ready to be used until she got what she wanted.

However, his ex-wife in return accused him of "overreacting" and said if he was a good man then he should have encouraged her to leave the job and offered to support her until she was ready to leave. Frustrated with the whole situation, the man filed for divorce and moved out of the house. "I wanted to fight for the home since I'd lived there before we were together. But her name was on the deed and I didn't want my kids to live in a conflict-ridden home," he wrote. Following their separation, the ex-couple had not been on good terms and the woman's family blamed the man for being selfish. "She simply doesn't want to continue in that job. I don't feel like I owe her that support," he revealed. 

Meanwhile, reacting to the Reddit post, u/usual-canary-7764 wrote, "She has a right to leave a marriage whenever she deems fit and for whatever reasons she has. But so do you. I find it interesting that their problem is not trying to fix the marriage but to make you her doormat now for her comfortable future...not yours...hers." u/ok-interview-6642 commented, "I agree, she is ethically and morally wrong in this case, so is her family. It makes you wonder how she would be as a single mom, and what kind of example she would be for the kids." Similarly, u/thefinalhex wrote, "It's not even soaking him financially. It's dragging out a relationship she doesn't want to be in and using it for benefits. So he's asked to stay in a relationship where he isn't loved, while she goes to college."