Dad's creative fix for daughter's curly hair sparks heated debate with ex-wife

A dad, recently divorced from his 3-year-old's mom, was struggling to manage his daughter's curly hair. He found a creative solution to make the task easier, but it left his ex furious. The dad on Reddit, u/aitacurlydaughter, shared that he struggled with doing his toddler's "very curly hair." Previously, his ex-wife took care of their daughter's hair, but now that she stayed with him every other week, he had to find a solution. "I try, but on my weeks, her hair was mostly a frizzy, tangled mess," he shared.

The father noticed that a teacher at his daughter's daycare had similar curly hair. So, he asked if the teacher could help with his daughter's hair. She offered to do his daughter's hair if he dropped her off about half an hour earlier. The father usually dropped her off at 8:45, but now he drops her off at 8:20 so the teacher can do her hair. She also gave him a list of curly hair products and tips to wash and take care of her curly hair at home.

However, the father suspected his toddler told her mother that her teacher was doing her hair. Also, she might have told her mom about early drop-offs at daycare. "My ex called me and asked if I really drop her off half an hour early every morning just so I could 'avoid doing her hair.' She called me a bad parent for 'relying on a teacher to do my job' and for messing up the morning routine so we could get to school early enough for the teacher to do her hair." Their routine included waking up, bathing, doing her hair, and having breakfast. Now, with the teacher doing her hair, the dad and daughter get ready and have breakfast on the way.

"I thought I was doing right by making sure her hair is cared for on my weeks, but my ex feels very strongly about this," the father revealed. The man asked the people on Reddit if he was wrong. People had mixed opinions about it. Some felt he should make more effort to learn how to do his daughter's hair. u/eefr commented, "You're not wrong. If the teacher doesn't mind doing it, which is very generous of her and you should get her a very nice gift for her trouble, then I don't see why it's an issue. But it might be more sustainable for you to ask the teacher to train you to do your daughter's hair because it is unlikely that future teachers will want to do this, and what will you do then (You should compensate the teacher for her time if you do this)?" 

While u/maplestriker felt otherwise, "Good god, it's not rocket science. There are YouTube videos available. You should be able to figure this out within a week and stop relying on free labor by the women around you. The teacher may have offered because she feels bad for you or your daughter, but it's absolutely not okay to abuse her generosity for as long as you have. Figure it out." 

In an update, the dad shared that he was learning to care for his daughter's hair, which looked much healthier than it did a few weeks ago. He kept her hair down on the weekends because he still couldn't style it properly, but it looked good. "The teacher really seems to enjoy doing her hair. I know she does other kids' hair, but it's not exactly a set thing. Lastly, my ex was not willing to teach me how to do her hair when we were married and was not willing to teach me after the divorce."

But the dd's justification still did not sit well with a few users. u/sraydenk remarked, "This teacher likely is underpaid. She's not doing it because she enjoys it. She's doing it for the kid. She cares more about the kid's well-being here than the dad. So when daycares raise prices and staff leave, it's this kind of b******* that's the reason. Teachers of all levels are sick of having to be a parents on top of their jobs for pennies. The father needs to be better. He had the opportunity to learn when he was with his ex and he didn't. He made no moves to learn and let another woman take over. He's not even staying to learn from the teacher."