He paid his husband's bills, covered his car note, and stood by him whenever he lost a job. 2 years later, he discovered why he had really married him

Financial struggles often test even the strongest relationships. But for a 24-year-old man (u/grntfost), it was the very foundation of his marriage. Soon after he married his boyfriend, things changed. He found himself shouldering the financial burden alone, as his partner juggled low income and unemployment. The breaking point came when he told his husband he wouldn't continue paying for his car note. A month later, the narrator even found out that his husband, Cole, had been cheating on him. His October 28, 2026 Reddit post has since amassed over 3,000 upvotes.

A costly cycle

The two had been dating for a while before they got married on Valentine’s Day in a small court ceremony in Colorado in 2023. The couple soon moved to Wisconsin. Both men were working, but the narrator had a higher-paying job than Cole. While he paid the rent and other bills, his husband contributed the rest. About five months into the marriage, Cole quit his job due to what he called "bad management.” Later, he joined another job, and they split the bills once again. The cycle kept on repeating itself. "This is a cycle that eventually turns into me paying for everything because he is so unreliable," the narrator explained.

The final straw

Amidst the financial struggle, the couple moved to San Antonio, Texas. There, the narrator told his husband he couldn’t pay $700 a month on his Mercedes sedan note. The other day, Cole woke him up in the middle of the night to inform him that his car had been stolen. When he contacted insurance, they told him it was repossessed, and they almost filed charges against him. “I’m so pissed. But I still stayed because that’s my husband. We can work it out,” he said. A few months later, the breaking point arrived when the narrator realized Cole had cheated on him. Instead of creating a scene, he collected the evidence and brought his husband to his knees.

While Cole begged for a second chance, the man refused to entertain him anymore. For the next three weeks, while they were cohabiting, he told the narrator that he never loved him. "He told me that he never loved me and was with me because I took care of everything, and he knew from the beginning I would,” he described. Fast forward to 2 years: the man has already broken up with Cole and is much happier now. “That marriage has definitely taught me a lot of things. A lot of what to look for in someone. I have such high standards now,” he wrote.

Financial security>>love

Seemingly, Cole comes under the category of “hobosexuals,” people who pursue relationships mainly to secure somewhere to live, per Ocnos Clinic. According to a YourTango survey, nearly 42% cited financial security as the main motivation for marriage, just like Cole. Financial security even beat companionship and love. The consequences of such a marriage are evident, usually devastating for the one who loves. For instance, a study by the Williams Institute found that same-sex couples end their marriage at the rate of 1.1% to 1.6% annually. This man and Cole are just one example of the many.

'Cheating is inexcusable'

Meanwhile, viewers urged the narrator not to jump into relationships for some time. u/different_pie-6531 said, “He was just a piece of sh*t. Not having a job isn't a problem. But cheating is inexcusable.” Similarly, u/implication-sofa shared, “Yup, unfortunately very common. I also dated a guy who I originally took on more to help him out, thinking it was just a tough time for him, and eventually took over responsibility for everything. It was not a tough time; he was just a loser.”

More on Scoop Upworthy

'Cheater' boyfriend fakes work trip to go on a romantic getaway instead. One tiny social media detail exposed him
After 3 years of forgiving his cheating, she finally asked why. His one-line answer made her pack her bags that night
Boyfriend asked for 'strict loyalty' after breaking up, and she agreed. 2 weeks later, it finally hit her — he's the one who cheated