20-year-old student agreed to be his cousin's groomsman — until he was asked to cough up $1000 for the suit, bachelor trip and hotel costs

Bridesmaids complain about spending a lot of money on weddings, but groomsmen pay a hefty price too. 20-year-old u/Stunning-Youngman02 was a full-time student who worked part-time and had a tight budget. His 26-year-old cousin was getting married in six months and asked him to be one of the groomsmen. He agreed, but when he found out the actual price of being a groomsman, he went back on his word. The post was shared on September 12, 2026, and it had over 2,800 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

Unaware of the full price

The author said 'yes' to being his cousin's groomsman because they were close and he did not want to look like a j---. But then he found out the suit had to be a specific style and color that would cost around $280 to $300. He would also have to pitch in $500 to $600 for the bachelor party, plus a few additional costs for the shoes, the gift, and the hotel before the wedding. He admitted that all of the money from his part-time job went to his rent, food, gas, and textbooks. He had no savings and knew he'd go into credit card debt if he pretended he had the money. He knew he couldn't ask his parents because they did not have that kind of money either.

Topic of gossip

Unfortunately, the author had to back out of being a groomsman. He was honest when he told his cousin, "I want to be there, and I’ll come as a guest, but I can’t swing the groomsman expenses. I have to drop out of the party." Instead of being understanding of his financial situation, his cousin said he was "pretty disappointed" and thought that he would try to "make it work," since they were family. But it did not stop there. His aunt texted him, "Weddings are once in a lifetime; you can sacrifice a little.” Even his mom asked if he could "figure something out." He was excluded from a group chat, but heard people talk about how some people "only show up when it's convenient," referring to him. 

Price of a groomsman

Weddings are costly not just for the married couple, but also for their entourage. Modern Gents surveyed in 2026 found that bridesmaids spend an average of $1,110, while groomsmen pay around $902 for a wedding. That average is close to the expenses the student was facing before even accounting for every additional wedding cost. The survey also found that 13% of groomsmen said being in a wedding party had strained their relationship with the couple. Another 35% of groomsmen said they felt pressured into joining a wedding party. In the student's case, that pressure continued after he explained that he could not afford the expenses, with relatives urging him to find a way to make it work. 

Cousin's family should pay

People in the comment section supported the author's decision to back out of the wedding party. But they called out his cousin, aunt, and mother for making him feel like he's making the wrong decision. u/Economy-Explorer-470 suggested, "Just ask your mom and cousin's mom to give you funds for groomsman expenses since it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and they would not want you to miss it for some petty cash. Tell them you are disappointed in them if they can't do that for you and your cousin." u/Strong_District_5894 wrote, "NTA. But he sure is. What kind of entitled pr*ck does this to their cousin? And then his tw*t of a mother sends you that message. I wouldn’t even attend at this point."

More on Scoop Upworthy

Bridesmaid drops out of destination wedding over high costs, gets called ‘horrible’ by the couple

Bride asks if it's okay to fire bridesmaids who can't afford her extravagant bachelorette party

Bride imposes hefty 'wedding tax' on guests to fund lavish ceremony — and it backfired