Man calls off engagement after hearing fiancée's reason for not including his daughter in wedding

Marriage is a special day for both the bride and groom, and they want to be surrounded by their loved ones. However, 45-year-old u/whoevenisthat5 was heartbroken when he learned that his fiancée didn't want his daughter from a previous marriage to be part of their wedding. He eventually called off the wedding after discovering the shocking reason behind her reluctance. People on Reddit supported his decision after he shared the events leading to the breakup.

Referring to his daughter as "P," he shared: "I divorced my ex-wife on good terms and we share 50/50 custody of P. She is now 11. After I divorced my ex-wife, I met my now fiancée (S). S and my daughter got along very well. After five years in my relationship with S, I proposed." The fiancée was quite excited about the wedding and started planning immediately. She looked for venues and started asking her friends to be her bridesmaids. 

The fiancée told the man she wanted her niece to be a flower girl. "I had no problem with it, but I said I also wanted P to be a flower girl. S looked at me funny and then said that she didn't think that P would 'fit the part,'" he recalled. This upset him and he told S that he wanted his daughter in their wedding. Hearing this, the fiancée wasn't happy and said that the girls in the wedding were up to her and his daughter wouldn't be one of them. "I told S that if P wasn't in the wedding, then there might not be a wedding. I stormed out and took P to get ice cream," he shared.

Later, he mentioned how his daughter knew he was getting married and thought she would look pretty in whatever dress S picked for her. His heart broke after listening to his daughter's words. He texted his fiancée that he would be staying at a friend's place to think about this situation. "My MIL texted me saying I am overreacting and that my daughter doesn't have to be in my wedding and I was an a** for saying that I would cancel," he wrote. He asked people in the comments if he was wrong to say he would cancel or if he was just being a good dad.

u/muppetjonbonjovi commented, "Props to you for standing up for your daughter! That's exactly what a good dad should do. Your fiancée is trying to diminish your daughter's role in your wedding. I'd be concerned that'll carry over to other parts of your life. Whatever bullsh*t she means by her not 'fitting the part,' sends up huge red flags to me too." u/pinkunder wrote, "This is a major red flag. Please don't ignore it. Your daughter comes first. Please do not marry this woman who diminishes you and your daughter's feelings." u/leatherhyde pointed out, "The notion that your fiance has unilateral power to exclude your daughter in this way is nonsense. It's a big red flag for the future as well. I think your gut reaction was right." u/dry-structure-6231 expressed, "I hope you are seriously reconsidering the marriage."

In an update post, the man shared that he went home to talk to his fiancée. "She sat in silence, so I asked the first question, 'Why does P not fit the part, and why don't you want her in the wedding at all?' Her answer full on shocked me," he wrote. She told him that after the wedding, she hoped for him to become a "holiday visit-only dad." She also said that she didn't want her in the wedding so that she wouldn't be there in the wedding pictures since she wasn't going to be around much. "I kept my cool, calmly took her hand and pulled my engagement ring off," he wrote.

She was in tears and told him they shouldn't end the relationship over this and that she could change. "I told her the damage was already done. I told her I wanted her things moved out by next week and that she could come get them when my daughter wasn't home (the house is in my name and I paid for it. I was allowing her to get the furniture that she paid for)," he said. His fiancée stormed out and her mother walked in and said he was being unreasonable. He said he couldn't imagine seeing his daughter only three or four times a year. "The fact that S wanted me to give up part of my custody blew me away. I'm sitting on my couch just in shock. Our honeymoon was supposed to be in Hawaii. Looks like P and I will be going instead," he concluded. People applauded the man for standing up for his daughter.

This article originally appeared 3 months ago.