Man doesn't want to share his parents' inheritance with his wife, asks if he's wrong

Inheritance often stirs complex feelings, especially when it involves family legacy. While sibling disputes over assets are common, disagreements between spouses on inheritance are usually rare and tend to surface mainly in divorce cases. Yet, in one unique case, a man on Reddit, u/HorridDogGas, shared that he was struggling with his wife’s desire for a share in the inheritance left to him by his parents. After they passed away, he turned to Reddit for advice on setting boundaries around what he felt was his alone.

As he navigated this family dispute online, he described feeling conflicted about telling his wife about the inheritance. “Years ago, I was gifted a ‘s***-ton’ worth of stock when my parents both began showing signs of dementia,” he explained in his post. His story mirrors other common inheritance challenges, where stepchildren and widows are sometimes at odds over legacy issues. After his parents passed earlier this year, he received a “large chunk of money” through various bank accounts—a fresh source of tension as he decided how to move forward.

During this sad moment, the man explained that his wife had eyes on the succession. More so, she is convinced that half of it belonged to her. “My wife thinks half is hers, and she has ‘ideas’ on spending just about all of it,” the man said. Despite the couple’s 35-year-strong marriage, the husband claimed he never really commingled the money in any joint funds. He firmly believes in what constitutes as personal and cannot be shared with his partner.

However, the husband went on to ask if he should feel guilty about telling his wife that the money belonged to him. “What if I informed her flat out that my inheritance is mine, not ‘ours,’” he remarked. Despite the conflict, he claimed that he had his own reasons to give at least some of it to her. “I am willing to indulge her wants,” provided she considered him the final voice on the matter. In fact, he wants to have control over how those funds should be spent.

“I will be the final authority on how those funds are spent,” he explained further. Additionally, he claimed he wasn’t sure of the right way to communicate what he felt with his wife. “How would I ‘break it’ to her in the right way?” he asked the Reddit community. Notably, at this point, after spending a crucial chunk of their life together, he does not want to end up hurting their relationship.

“I have a great marriage and, up to this point, have never had a serious disagreement revolving around money,” he concluded, sparking widespread reactions on social media. u/Timely-Acanthaceae80 commented, “Depending on the amount of money and her request, I would save my complaints until necessary. If I received $10 million and she wanted to redo the kitchen, I would certainly proceed with the renovation.” Offering a different perspective, u/notevenapro said, “I have been married for 31 years. If I inherited money, it would go into our joint account. We would pay off our debt and figure out how we could both retire early and travel together.”