Man asks girlfriend to apologize to friend for calling her out—regrets after seeing full picture

Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when you're getting to know your partner and the relationship is new. The last thing you want during this time is to get caught in a conflict between your friend and partner. It's a delicate balancing act not to hurt anyone's feelings. One such incident was shared by a 21-year-old, u/throwway_idrawalot, who took to Reddit to talk about an incident that went down at a Christmas party.

In the post, the boyfriend talked about being at a party with all his friends and his 19-year-old girlfriend, Fiona. "Fiona got along with all of them well, though she was understandably a little shy. It also makes it difficult for her that most of my friends and I are international students, whereas, she's born and raised in North America," he wrote in the post. He shared that Fiona was not fond of conflict and often preferred letting things slide to keep the peace. "However, if she's angered, she's also the type to say something and can be a bit of a hothead. That being said, she's extremely sweet and understanding, which makes this situation all the more bizarre for me," he added.

He mentioned that Fiona was quite quiet throughout the event. "She was holding a bag, which I found out today is pretty expensive, around $2.7k. My friend Celia pointed out her purse and asked where she got it, to which Fiona explained that it was a gift from her parents. At this, Celia asked what Fiona's parents did," he wrote. Fiona shared that her mom was a stay-at-home parent and her dad worked in an oil field. Celia responded, "You know digging oil is horrible for the environment." Fiona then asked Celia if the clothes she was wearing were made of polyester or nylon, if she participated in fast fashion, if she took planes or used solar energy. "And then she asked Celia if she drew the line for being environmentally conscious at someone working hard to support their family. Fiona's tone was light, but I could tell she was angry. The rest of my friends laughed and told Celia that Fiona had a point and moved on. But Celia went quiet afterward and left soon after," he revealed.

The next morning, the boyfriend received a text from his friend Celia, stating that Fiona was rude to her and that she didn't feel comfortable attending parties with Fiona anymore. She also told him that he deserved someone better than Fiona. "When I told Fiona, she went quiet and told me that the reason she snapped at Celia was because she was purposely acting as if Fiona didn't exist and being snide towards her. I tried to argue that Celia never said anything off-putting save for the 'oil field' comment and that Fiona should just apologize to keep the peace, but Fiona refused and said I didn't pick up on it because I'm a guy and girls have subtext," he wrote. "Now Fiona and Celia are both upset with me and I feel bad for putting them both in this situation." He asked if he was wrong for not taking Fiona's side.

People were quick to point out that Fiona's reply to Celia was justified, with many siding with her for standing up for herself. "That friend was rude for absolutely no good reason and attacked your girlfriend's family. If you care about this girl at all or want any sort of future for this relationship, you should be thanking God she's loyal to her family. Your friend sounds extremely rude and jealous, and you need to ask her for an apology for your girlfriend if you want to keep her in your life," wrote u/shesaidiwannagohome. "What was Fiona supposed to say? Apologize for her father's career. Call him and lecture him into quitting? I'm usually as environmentalist as the next person (I do avoid polyester, nylon, fast fashion and travel when possible for environmental reasons), but Celia's comment was rude and snobby, especially given the context of Fiona being new to the group. Fiona fired back a proportional taste of her own medicine," added u/FaithlessnessFlat514. 

In an update, the boyfriend shared that he had apologized to Fiona for not supporting her earlier and showed her the Reddit thread, which she found amusing. He also sent a stern message to Celia, confronting her rude behavior after learning from a couple of friends that she'd attempted to badmouth his girlfriend to them. He learned that Celia's comments were rooted in jealousy. He expressed deep reflection on the situation and vowed to rethink how he handles conflicts in his relationship with Fiona moving forward.