Niki Diwa, a content creator, asked her husband why he never yells at her, even after ten years of being together.
Conflict in marriage or any relationship is inevitable. It is vital to understand that disagreements do not equate to the end of any relationship but is a natural result of two people with different experiences and ideologies coming together. Fighting does not mean that a marriage is on the rocks, and regardless of how similar we may think we are to our partners, we are different.
Differences create friction, and it is impossible to avoid this in any relationship, especially marriage. However, one husband is sharing an important lesson for all married couples, and it is a piece of advice we can all use in our daily lives. Niki Diwa, a content creator, asked her husband why he never yells at her, even after ten years of being together.
In the TikTok video, Diwa's husband is seen playing with their daughter in the pool when she inquires about why he has never yelled at her at any point in time. "How come you never yell at me? We've been together for ten years," asked Diwa. "Well, the truth is, everything that you want to achieve when you're yelling, you get the exact opposite," he explained. "I love you, and I care about you enough and I'm not gonna put us through all the carnage and destruction."
He added, "I love you too much to put us through that." We don't know who gets an award for being the calmest and most understanding husband if not this man. His response left Diwa and many others in the comments section speechless.
Commenters raved about how lucky Diwa is to have a husband like that. "He was raised right! I wish more men were like this! I'm so happy for u Hunny," said @jenniferalmourani. "The fact that this man exists in the world gives me hope and peace that decent humans still exist," wrote @zennor2. "Wow, he is amazing! What a wonderful couple!! So many people can learn from you both!! I miss my husband every day. People need to appreciate," added @catherinemcdougallsalgar. "Whatever his faults, THIS is a treasure. Some of us have partners who yell over the smallest things," shared @njoythesilence93.
James Sexton, author of “If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late,” said having a conversation about how to have the conversation is crucial, or disagreements will build up over time and jeopardize the relationship.“We don’t have these conversations,” Sexton tells NBC News. “We don’t have a conversation about how we’re going to have a conversation in a marriage, and I think very often that results in people not knowing what’s a big thing, what’s a little thing, what’s a way to bring up the big things? What’s a way to bring up the little things?” If you want to have a healthy relationship like that of Diwa and her husband, thoughtful dialogue will be a life-changer.
When we are upset with a loved one, our instinct is to criticize them, said Sexton, adding that this might result in them feeling slighted or ashamed. “Look, constructive criticism is still criticism,” he said. “You can call it constructive criticism, but that’s like saying, ‘Oh, it’s a positive slap in the face.’ It’s still criticism, and no one likes to be criticized, especially when it comes to their marriage [and] being told, ‘Hey, you’re not doing our marriage right,’ or ‘You’re not being very good at being my spouse.’”
In today's dating generation, we confront difficult conversations face-to-face, but this confrontation has a tendency to put your partner in a defensive position, said Sexton. “If you wait until your partner or spouse is sitting on the couch and you go, ‘Hey, listen, what happened last night bothered me,’ they’re immediately in a defensive position,” he explained. “They may not be in a position where they want to talk about that issue right at that moment.”