Lots of families have poop knives and I think I just need to lie down now

Editor's Note: This article was originally published on September 24, 2021. It has since been updated.

It's time for some real talk. What do you do when you poop an especially large one? While some of us may grab a plunger and others might frantically reach for the flush, it turns out that certain families have quite the peculiar tradition: poop knives. You read that right. We'll just let you go ahead and imagine the visual of what exactly a poop knife is expected to slice. If you're done visualizing, here's how the story of the poop knife first went viral. Reddit user LearnedButt took to the confessions forum to explain a particularly funny incident about his own poop knife. In a now-deleted post, they explained that they were at a friend's house when they asked for a "poop knife." Rightly confused, their friend responded, "What's a poop knife?" And that's when LearnedButt knew how truly weird his family was.

Of course, the responses were ... interesting, to say the least. Many users shared their own experiences of owning and using a poop knife whereas others commented about how disgusted or shocked they were by the whole ordeal. To be honest, while it's an ingenious idea, I can't help but feel a little nauseated when just thinking about the concept of a poop knife. Nonetheless, this was about a year ago; since the Reddit post was first uploaded, it's gained 2,600 comments and 45,000 upvotes. It's also been shared widely across the internet, making it super-viral and attracting even more attention. Should it have crossed your mind, yes, other families did have the so-called poop knife too. Huntingbears 244 explained: [Oh my God], my grandparents had one of these and they called it the “mashitty!” I thought they were the only ones! I plugged up the toilet once as a kid and then every time I went to the bathroom after that my gramps would yell, “Do you need the mashitty in there?”

Now, however, inspired by his homemade poop knife, someone's decided to create an official and original poop knife—so that it can serve its purpose without being confused for something else. The creators explain on their website, "Inspired by the viral Reddit™ confessions post, Original Poop Knife™ will chop the most compacted of brownies, the most seasoned of logs, can handle the hardwood of butt logs, the longest of sewer snakes, the most ferocious of bog crocodiles, and the fattest heaved Havanas." If you'd like to grab your own poop knife, you can do so on Amazon for $14.95. Winifred said about the product: Without going into gory detail, this knife has been a real help to someone who has a medical condition that results in fewer, larger bowel movements that tend to plug the toilet. This can actually be used to break that down into smaller, more flushable amounts, which reduces stress for the person who has this condition. There's nothing like helping someone out with your unique poop knife business idea, am I right?