Life coach sparks debate over women’s invisible labor after new mom filmed doing laundry

For many years now, the division of labor in households has been unequal. While much of that is changing now, there remains a significant disparity between couples when it comes to determining who does the housework. In this context, a widely circulated TikTok video featuring a man recording a new mother taking on laundry duties just a week after childbirth has opened discussions concerning the unnoticed efforts of women in managing household responsibilities. At the clip's beginning, we hear the man recording the video saying, "Can you believe she had a baby seven days ago? Oh my god, you look great." The woman sarcastically replies, "Can you believe I had a baby seven days ago and I'm the one who is doing the laundry?" Hearing this, the man replies that she doesn't look good and asks her to "take it back."

Life coach @thatdarnchat uses the viral video as an example to implore more men to take up household duties. She begins, "In the comments section, everyone's saying 'let her rest!'" Laura then adds how the woman in the featured video explained in the comments section that she was fine and just "wanted to get some things done." Laura points out how the woman takes full responsibility for things that need to be done around the house, even while resting, which is why she eventually got up and started doing them. According to her, there are two reasons for this to happen. Either it was the woman's responsibility to do the laundry, or there was no clear division of labor in the household. She proceeds to say, "When the division of labor is not clear in a household, it's on someone's mental load."

Laura talks about how in many cishet households (cisgender, heterosexual), women tend to carry more of the "mental load" when it comes to household duties, which means that they are in a state of constant anticipation of what needs to be done. They end up having to prioritize the list of tasks to ensure that everything runs smoothly and things don't fall apart. Ultimately, this means that women cannot sit idly, as doing so will end up causing more stress. Laura also says that in certain cases, when someone is not feeling well or is recovering from giving birth, it might feel good to get up and do things. She ends by saying that to support a partner who has just gone through childbirth, it's always best to take "full responsibility" and bear the mental load so that the woman can genuinely rest without any stress.

The video, which now has over 465.7K likes on the platform, resonated with female viewers who left comments about their own experiences with their partners. @di_barber commented, "I had a baby seven days ago. I haven't left our bed. Husband has been doing all of it." Highlighting the woman's sarcastic tone in the video, @aiyapapyuh wrote, "And her laugh after isn't because she thinks it's funny, it's because she now has to worry about damage control."