Lawyer was hellbent on revenge after meeting school bully as an adult. But his reply caught him off guard

Trigger warning: This story contains themes of bullying that some readers may find distressing.

James Sexton had a childhood bully who made his life miserable in school. His classmate, John Smith, tortured him every single day, and he grew up hating him more than he hated anything else. Somehow, life continued, and both went different ways, choosing different careers altogether. While Sexton studied law and became an attorney, Smith, his former bully, opened a bar. Almost twenty years later, Sexton, now a successful New York-based divorce lawyer, decided to finally confront Smith and take his revenge, but his bully's surprisingly heartbreaking confession changed his heart. Sexton opened up about it on his YouTube channel (@sextonshow) on December 20.

Sexton had just begun enjoying his success as a lawyer when he heard about Smith, his former bully, running a bar in the city. "I was like, let's go, and I am going to f*** with him," he recalled. He arrived at the bar, placed his order, and asked the waitress about the owner. A few moments later, Smith met Sexton, but couldn't recognize him at all. However, when the lawyer introduced himself, Smith looked at him in shock, as he couldn't believe he was meeting the same classmate he had tortured in school. The bar owner then introduced his server to Sexton and confessed that he was always very insecure around him in school. "My brothers used to torture me, and I used to come into school and torture him, but I was just like such an insecure little piece of garbage; he was so smart, and I was so jealous that he was so smart," Smith continued.

Moving on, he asked Sexton about his career, and was so excited when he told him that he was working as a lawyer. Smith even complimented him and admitted that he always knew that Sexton would be very successful, and perhaps, his jealousy made him torture him in school. The lawyer, who was just very mad at Smith, immediately forgave him for everything he had done to him during school. In that moment, the lawyer realized that he'd been carrying hate for someone who was struggling too, and that changed his perspective about his long-time bully.

Nothing can ever justify bullying, but studies have revealed that carrying hatred and negativity for others can cause more harm than we imagine. "Hate has a way of generalizing. It grows quickly from hating one person to hating others who remind you of that person and eventually to groups of people who remind you of that person," Steven Stosny, a therapist specializing in anger management, told Psychology Today. In fact, he said that haters usually portray themselves as the victims, and that mindset makes them focus almost entirely on their own pain, and not on the harm they are causing. 19.2% of students between the ages of 12 and 18 have experienced bullying between 2021 and 2022 in the United States. Out of the ones bullied, 15.4% and 12.7% reported being bullied and bullied repeatedly, respectively, by ones more powerful and influential than them, according to StopBullying.gov, an official website of the United States government.  

Reacting to Sexton's story, @lizoke11 commented, "I love stories like this. I was bullied by a teacher. It was a year of hell. It’s amazing how strong it makes you; I am not justifying bullying, but it’s a choice of how you deal with it. Everything is an internal game." Similarly, @julieannigianhartz wrote, "It's a great story! Carrying all of that anger and hurt, even though it’s understandable when you’ve been treated in such a cruel way, only hurts the person who has carried it all those years." @patsy_leos_ said, "A great lesson to learn. The bullies in your life push you to believe in yourself. But the sad part is wasting hate and unforgiveness to find out that the bully is a victim himself. They always are." @zarghoona_88 commented, "My God, I think when we are young, we make those mistakes. I couldn't hold anger toward my classmates for being mean. Later on, I found out that we were all struggling with issues. Any classmate of mine I see, and know that they are doing well in life, it makes me so happy."

You can follow James J Sexton (@sextonshow) on YouTube for more motivational content.

If you or someone you know is being bullied, text CONNECT to 741741 for free, confidential support from a trained volunteer Crisis Counselor, available 24/7. If the situation is more volatile and requires immediate intervention, then call 1-800-273-8255

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