Woman noticed her coworker booked the same 3 days off as her husband's work trip — unlocking his phone confirmed her worst fear
He was with another woman while his wife was already suffering after a miscarriage
Betrayal is always painful, especially when it involves a partner and a close friend. A 30-year-old female (u/throwra_sail) experienced just that when she found her husband cheating on her multiple times with her work bestie after 4 years of marriage. What made the treachery even more devastating was the fact that the husband was busy pursuing a sexual relationship with another woman while his own wife was suffering a miscarriage. While the extramarital affair continued for nearly six months, the author only discovered it when her husband's travel plans aligned with those of her work bestie. The post, shared on June 28, has received over 3,000 upvotes on Reddit.
My (30F) husband (30M) had an affair with my co-worker when she was pregnant and when we were trying for a baby. He's begging for another chance, but how can I do that?
by u/ThrowRA_Sail in relationship_advice
The big sacrifice
The author and her husband had been together since college. After dating for a while, they decided to marry and move to a different place for his career growth. The woman loved her husband, so leaving her job for him did not look like a compromise. "It was a very hard adjustment for me. I didn't really want to move, but I love my husband and wanted to support him in his career," she confessed. Amidst all challenges, the couple settled in the new town, and the woman found a temporary job. As time passed, she made friends, especially one at her office. "We sort of clicked and became friends. Eventually it led to us getting together with our husbands, and we'd hang out together a lot, the 4 of us," the author recalled.
A shocking tip-off
Meanwhile, the coworker conceived her first child, and throughout her pregnancy, the author supported her. However, unknown to her, her husband and her work bestie started hanging out secretly and eventually developed an extramarital relationship. Looking at her friend enjoying her post-pregnancy phase, the author also started family planning, but she suffered a miscarriage only two weeks after conceiving. Her depression amplified, and she and her husband put a hold on trying for a baby. Then, the other day, another co-worker told the woman that she had seen her husband and her friend at a hotel parking lot. The author first dismissed her claim, but suspicion had already seeped into her mind. "I didn't tell my friend, co-worker, anything about it. Again, I don't know why I didn't confront her about it then, but if it wasn't true, I didn't want to blow everything up," she shared.
The dirty secret
Once, the author's husband told her that he was going on a 3-day work trip to the mountains. She noticed that her work friend had also requested paid time off for the exact same three days. Instead of confronting anyone, the author checked her husband's phone and uncovered his dirty secret. Her coworker and her partner had been meeting multiple times a week, behind her back. "My husband told me it's been going on for 6 months. That means she was still pregnant when it started," the author said. Two weeks after she caught her husband's infidelity, she said her husband had been begging her for another chance, while her coworker continued working beside her, acting as if nothing happened.
Infidelity by the numbers
While many may find the Reddit post surprising, studies show infidelity isn't that uncommon. Researchers from the University of Colorado Boulder studied nine years of the General Social Survey, analyzing 13,030 people’s responses, and found that about 21% of men and 13% of women reported being involved in infidelity at some point in their lives. Men are more likely to hold favorable attitudes toward extramarital sex than women. About 53.5% reported having extramarital sex with a close friend, while 29.4% said they had an affair with a neighbor, co-worker, or long-term acquaintance. Similarly, a Zipdo survey reported that 55% of couples end their marriage after uncovering affairs of their partners, with 67% of the partners left grappling with a lifetime's worth of betrayal trauma to process.
'Tell her husband'
Meanwhile, Reddit readers asserted that there is no question of choice in this situation, and the only decision she should make is to walk away from the man. u/ihatethec0ld commented, “You don’t have to forgive him. It’s probably actually safer for you to leave while you can and have no ties to him.” u/ihatethestupidmods said, “Tell her husband. And dump yours. Then go back to your home state.” u/sfcitygirl88 stated, “Never go back to what hurt you.”
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