She called her male friend of 20 years to cry over another man, but he proposed instead. The reason? 'I'd end up on the Forbes list with you'

People often trust their friends for advice, especially about romantic relationships. That's why a 35-year-old (u/flowerbloomsage) turned to her friend of 20 years when she had issues with a man she was interested in. She believed her school friend would give her a clear male perspective to help her out of the situation. But instead of being a shoulder to cry on, he turned her emotional situation into a "pity proposal." The man, 36, asked her to marry him, and his reason felt more like a business proposal than a declaration of love. The post was shared on September 20, 2026. 

The shocking proposal

The author met her friend in school and had been friends with him for 20 years. They were both single and wanted to get married, but she explicitly stated she wasn't attracted to him that way. In fact, the woman said she saw him more as a brother or a cousin. "We live in different countries now (I’m in the UK, he’s in the US), and even though we don’t see each other much, we pretty much talk/text all the time," she explained. Once, when the woman had some issues with a man she was talking to, she reached out to her male friend for a male perspective.

However, instead of offering support, the man asked her to marry him. He said, "Some of the best relationships start as friendships, and not everybody gets their Plan A." The man even shamelessly admitted that she wouldn't ask him to earn, because she was self-sufficient and would help him in his business, which was another reason he believed they should marry.  "His exact words were, 'I know I’d end up on the Forbes list with you,'" the woman recalled. 

Friendzoned after proposal

The author was enraged that her friend turned her vulnerable moment into a shocking proposal. She said, "He never once considered what I needed or what would be good for me. I have my own dreams. I’m looking for a partner, not a master to serve." Although he was nice and fun to hang out with, he was not an ideal man to marry. The author explained that he lived with his mother, partied a lot, and had no stability.

'It felt icky'

The woman also explained the last time she went out with her friend. She said as soon as the waiter arrived with the bill, he pushed it to her. "It felt icky, but I ignored it and paid anyway," she added, describing his irresponsible nature. Meanwhile, she worked hard to earn a good life, and being with him would "add more pressure and load to [her] plate." All he was looking for was someone who he could benefit from, a 'Mrs.' for his babies, who would also look after him. The woman rejected his proposal and said she deserved something better, but he made it all about him again and accused her of friend-zoning him.

Can men and women be 'just' friends?

Heterosexual men and women can be platonic friends, but people believe that certain romantic feelings may arise. A 2018 Barna survey found that 92% of respondents agreed that men and women can be friends. However, 36% said that attraction or feelings may arise at some point, and 24% said sexual temptation may get in the way of the friendship. Similarly, a 2019 YouGov survey found that 50% of respondents admitted to developing feelings for someone who thought of them as a platonic friend. In the case of the author, the man never mentioned 'love.' Marriage just seemed like the reasonable next step for him.

Manipulative proposal 

Meanwhile, reacting to the Reddit post, u/northernBelle49 wrote, "It’s not even a pity proposal. He's straight up using you to support him and his kids financially! Be glad he was so honest so you can avoid this loser." Similarly, u/castrnaut added, "Nah, he was being a terrible friend and sounds like he has been for a while. You are not overreacting."

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