LA filmmaker saved every 'cheery' letter from his late mom. 16 years later, her last words still hit hard
'16 years later and I’m still your sweet boy, doing his best to be a strong man in a world without you.'
Trigger Warning: This article contains themes of violence that some readers may find distressing.
Handwritten letters have always carried deep sentimental value, more so when the person who wrote them is gone. Los Angeles filmmaker Madison Hamburg (@madisonhamburg) took to Instagram to share a few letters and notes that his mother sent him while he was in rehab, as well as during his first quarter of college.
16 years ago, Madison's mother, Barbara Beach Hamburg, was killed, making these last letters from her all the more meaningful for him. For more than six years, he has been working on seeking justice and finding his mother's murderer. Five years ago, he released a documentary based on his mother's case called Murder on Middle Beach (M.O.M), which also served as his directorial debut.
Now, the letters are all he has left, but her words still shine through for him even on the darkest days. Madison captioned the post, "16 years later and I’m still your sweet boy, doing his best to be a strong man in a world without you."
Madison Hamburg and his mother had been close while he was growing up. She was his strength and his pillar to lean on, as he mentioned in his caption, "Before I started to look over my shoulder. When no matter what happened or how hard life seemed, I knew I had you. My biggest fan."
He also shared a few snippets of the letters he received from his mother. One of the letters she wrote him while he was in rehab read, "How are you, my sweet boy? I miss you like crazy. Every time I come home, I go up to your room and just stand there looking around and remembering how much I love you... can't wait to spend the weekend with you. I'm coming there with an open mind and enough hope for the both of us." The filmmaker also shared a few photos and video clips of himself and his mother.
In the carousel of photos and videos, Madison also shared the last letter he received from his mother while he was in his first quarter of college. The handwritten letter reads, "Madison, I want you to know how proud I am of you. You have a true talent and passion, and you're following your dreams. Way to go!" Time and again, his mother never failed to remind him that she was his biggest cheerleader. The letter continued, "I'm your biggest fan and avid supporter. I can't wait to hear all about everything. Keep your focus and continue to 'do the next right thing,' and everything will be in perfect order." 16 years later, and Hamburg is still grieving the untimely demise of his mother.
In his caption, he shared a bittersweet moment, "Just last week, during a particularly tender moment of preemptive grief, I received half a dozen messages from a high school class in Texas. Their teacher apparently screens Murder on Middle Beach every year to motivate them to think critically and write responses about how the show impacted them." He shares a handful of screenshots from his conversation with different high school students who reached out to him.
In a study on the 'Mental health consequences of parental death,' researchers studied 644 children who had lost a parent between the ages of 4 and 18 and found that the prevalence of mental health consequences among them ranged between 7.5% to 44.67%. Children who lost their parents early, or spent time grieving a significant loss, "were 4–12 times more likely to experience problems with alcohol consumption, use of psychoactive substances, and mood disorders such as depression." The least prevalent disorders were "psychotic disorders, 3.12 %; bipolar disorder, 2.83 %; and eating disorders, 0.85 %."
Madison Hamburg wraps up his caption by reminding everyone, "Consider this post a reminder that nothing is guaranteed. For those of you who can, tell your people you love them. Forgive them. Hug them extra tight. Let them know how proud of them you are... Beneath all the layers of defense and anxiety and ego is a sweet boy or girl who just wants to be loved." He ends it with a line from the last letter his mother ever sent him, "Keep doing the next right thing and everything will be in perfect order." @anniekatrina commented, "A mother's love runs so deep. You can feel it in her words and in her eyes. Thank you for sharing." @kara.b.heller shared, "I still have the last email I have from her, no surprise, it was about you. Her love for you was/is unapologetic, was/is unwavering, was/is pure. Ten words: Dear Madi — your strength is yours. Luv ya."
Follow Madison Hamburg (@madisonhamburg) for more film content and updates.
If you or anyone you know is in immediate distress, please dial 911 for priority support.
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