Keke Palmer says her 5-word advice to son exposed a 'poverty' problem she'd carried for years
For Palmer, acting became more of a job rather than an activity that she enjoyed. The celebrity finally wants to 'live'
We often look at celebrities on red carpets and assume they have life entirely figured out. However, that's rarely the case, even for multi-hyphenate stars like Keke Palmer, who recently shared her story with @TED on their YouTube channel on May 21. She spoke about carrying a "poverty" problem for decades, until her son's advice changed it. The clip has since garnered about 702,000 views.
Palmer's journey was a mission
For Palmer, the entertainment industry was never about chasing fame. In fact, the acknowledgment that came from movies like "Akeelah and the Bee" and later anchoring her own Nickelodeon series, and more, was just a byproduct. Her real mission was to get her family out of poverty, and in doing so, acting became more of a job rather than an activity that she enjoyed. This isn't surprising given that her family, including her, her parents, and three siblings, didn't have much and switched homes to Los Angeles just for her dream to come true.
Keke turned into her family's breadwinner
Of course, at first, it seemed like all their money-related issues were solved, which was true as well. But soon, Palmer, despite her young age, became the breadwinner of the family. Fast forward in time, Palmer's mind and body ran on what she called "autopilot." She was convinced that pausing meant risking everything she and her family had built. This continued for decades, with her even writing a book, "Master of Me," about the same, until one day her son, Leodis, made her realize something that changed her life.
A bid to make a toddler honor his bedtime
Palmer and her son have a ritual for going all out during Halloween, dressing up like duos from famous movies, and doing an elaborate photoshoot. In the most recent shoot last year, Palmer watched her toddler hit a wall. Even though he was visibly exhausted, he didn't sleep as soon as they got into the car. Instead, he frantically fought sleep, screaming and running entirely on fumes. So much so that she decided to pull up and hold him tight and whisper to him, "It is okay to rest." It was only after chanting this several times that he went to bed.
Once they got home, Palmer had about an hour of free time before work, so she decided to rest. Before she realized, the hour had passed. As her mother came to pick her up, she got angry with her and burst into tears. This made her realize that she wanted her mother to treat her exactly like she did her son just a few moments ago. Moreover, it confronted the poverty mindset she'd had for years. She discovered that while her survival mindset had gotten her family out of the slump, it also had trapped her in a cycle, where she forgot how to live. The moment helped Palmer find herself again and start enjoying life once again with her son.
She's found herself again
What Palmer felt is the reality of many people who grow up with financial hardship. Research by Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) found that almost all of their participants aged 9 to 24 coming from low-income environments were more likely to experience chronic stress and behavioral challenges later in life, regardless of how much money they earned as adults.
'Waking up from autopilot'
This explains why the people in the comments related to Palmer's life experience. @TheEvolutionOfTess wrote, "A lot of us in our 30s are waking up from autopilot and survival mode. It’s so sad that there are big chunks of my life I can’t recall because my nervous system was too busy trying to protect me. Now I am so intentional about my life, my choices, and what I will one day recall as memories after survival. This was so good." Meanwhile, @e.s.thesecond commented, "I went from food stamps as a kid to corporate CFO + father today. Both my inner child and adult self feel every word of this talk. Thank you, Lauren."
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