James Van Der Beek’s 9-year-old daughter shares heartbreaking ‘grief tips’ on his birthday: 'I talk to my dad every day'
'I know my dad is in a good place. He isn't in pain anymore; he is in heaven,' the 9-year-old said of the 'Dawson's Creek' celebrity.
Actor James Van Der Beek passed away following a two-and-a-half-year battle with stage 3 colorectal cancer on February 11, TODAY confirmed. His untimely death weeks before his 49th birthday has shocked all his fans and well-wishers, but the deepest loss was felt by his family, especially his kids, whose pain is just unimaginable. In fact, on March 8 — James' birthday — his 9-year-old daughter, Emilia, took to her mother, Kimberly's (@vanderkimberly), Instagram page to share heartbreaking "grief tips" for anyone coping with the death of a loved one.
In her video, Emilia urged anyone going through a similar situation to let their emotions out, and talk to their deceased beloved. "I talk to my dad every day. And I say, 'Hi, Dad, I miss you, and I love you so much, and I will never stop loving you,'" she said. "I tell him about my day... how I'm feeling. I tell my family about how I'm feeling." Emilia believes that her father lives in her heart, and even though he doesn't respond, he still listens to everything she tells him. "I know he can hear me... but I can't hear him."
Gesturing to her heart, Emilia said, "You have to feel them in your heart, 'cas they're watching over you; they're a part of your body." She continued, "I know my dad is in a good place. He isn't in pain anymore; he is in heaven."
The little girl explained that while you must realize your loved ones are in a good place, it's okay to cry because you miss them, and their absence feels too heavy. "Be sad you miss them... You can be angry, but don't blame yourself," Emilia requested, saying it's "not a good strategy" for someone's passing. She advised that if someone claimed to know how you feel because they "feel worse," then they don't really know you, or your heart.
"Everyone has different emotions in their body and they express it in different ways," Emilia says. "This is hard; it's gonna be hard." James' daughter, who believes everything happens for a reason, also shared something profound her father had explained to her.
The "Dawson's Creek" actor told Emilia not to lose hope in miracles even if things don't work out the way they wanted them to. "Miracles can still happen, just later on in life, and they’ll keep coming. But maybe when you want them to come, they might not," she added. Referring to the process of losing a loved one, Emilia says, "If they do go, just remember they have some work to do on the other side."
Emilia even admitted to 'stealing' her dad's stuff, such as his hat, because it "smells like him" and continues to praise him even when he is gone. "I know he was a good man, and people loved him," she added. Before ending the video, the 9-year-old thanked the viewers for their donations to the Kimberly Van Der Beek GoFundMe.
A large study (Jahn and Spencer-Thomas 2014) of people who have lost someone to suicide found 63% had a spiritual experience that made them feel a continued bond with the deceased person. Moreover, among those who had these experiences, almost 75% said it helped them with their grieving process, whereas less than 5% said those experiences affected them negatively. The study further explains why Emilia, James' daughter, has found comfort in talking to him after his demise.
Meanwhile, reacting to Emilia's heartbreaking confession, @theemmaslater commented, "There are literally no words to express how highly I think of Emilia. There are no words; I think she’s the greatest role model ever. I was blown away by her when I saw her recently, and I’m blown away now. I can’t wait to see what she does in her life; I’ll be there every step of the way!" Similarly, @rumerwillis said, "This is so profound and beautiful and such a testament to the incredible way you have raised your beautiful family. Happy Birthday, James. We love you." @odetteannable wrote, "And Emilia continues to prove that she is one of the miracles. Your dad is living fully through you, baby girl! We love all of you Vanderbeeks. Happy heavenly birthday, James."
You can follow Kimberly Van Der Beek (@vanderkimberly) on Instagram for more lifestyle content.
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