Internet rallies around woman whose brother threw a pool party at her house without informing

Most people want to be there for their families and do nice things for them, but sometimes, family can take advantage of that kindness. Reddit user u/wa_geng found herself in this very situation when her brother decided to throw a pool party at her house—without telling her first. From her in-home office, she could hear the party in full swing, with family members splashing around in the pool. It turns out, the gathering had been planned for a week, yet she wasn’t informed until the night before. Frustrated, she took to Reddit to share her story.

"I have a large house with an in-ground pool and I've always told my family they can come over, but to let me know ahead of time," the woman shared. Neither she nor her family have used the pool in a year so she hadn't done any upkeep. Although she has a salt system installed so things stay balanced on their own. "Last night, I was talking to my mother, and she said 'Well, I will see you tomorrow,' I asked what she meant by that and she said for the pool party," she wrote. The woman soon found out that her brother was planning to have a pool party at her house the next day.

"He was bringing his daughters and had coordinated with my sister to have her kids come over as well. Since my sister and her husband work during the day, my parents would be bringing them by," she added. The woman enquired since when the plans were being made and her mom informed her that they had been trying to figure out a date for the past few days. "My sister (my parents live with her) overheard the conversation and texted me to verify I knew about all of this and was surprised to find out I did not know." The sister then went on to text the brother and asked if he had talked to the woman about the plans.

"Five minutes later, I got a text from my brother saying he planned to come swimming the next day with one of his daughters but he would be very quiet since they know I work at home," the person revealed. "So around 11:30 am, my brother shows up with his oldest daughter. I said hello but went back to work. That is when he mentioned the extra people would be there." The woman didn't mind it as all the people were family and had seen her house messy before. "Then he mentions his daughter's boyfriend is coming too. He said, 'Well, she asked if he could come so I said yes.'" She added, "I love my family but they really drive me nuts sometimes. But the fact that my brother coordinated things with other people (his ex-wife, my sister, my parents) and never thought to ask me if it was okay is just infuriating."

The woman was quite hurt that her brother informed everyone apart from her and even invited a complete stranger to her house without informing her first. People took to the comments section to encourage the woman to draw stronger boundaries. In an update, she admitted that she had "become a complete doormat" when it comes to her family. u/TheNinjaPixie wrote, "You needed to nip this in the bud and cancel before they came." u/Odd-Comfortable-6134 commented, "When someone says they want you to 'be the bigger person,' what they mean is they want you to be a flatter doormat." u/newmemeforyou remarked, "A friend of mine would always say 'If you let people walk all over you, they'll just complain you're not flat enough.'"