Internet rallies around mom whose children 'detest' her 'glow up' after divorce from cheating husband

Divorce often sets the stage for a significant personal transformation. When a relationship ends, it can lead to a period of intense self-reflection and change. For some, this might mean focusing on personal growth and reinventing oneself, previously unimaginable. That is what happened with a 53-year-old woman, u/ThatPeach7311. After her divorce from her 54-year-old ex-husband Larry, the woman embarked on a journey of self-improvement. 

The ex-couple's journey began in college, where they were both engineering students with a shared nerdy charm. They married soon after graduation and worked as engineers. Larry later decided to pursue a career in patent law, a move that marked the beginning of his significant transformation. "Larry underwent a major glow-up during this time on pretty much all levels (tailored clothes, fancy haircuts, designer accessories like watches, etc., along with working out to trade his 'dad bod' for a lean gym bod)," she recounted.

Meanwhile, the wife was busy balancing the demands of raising their two kids, Steve and Carla, and managing 95% of household responsibilities while working full-time. She admitted, "I did not 'glow up' along with Larry. My own appearance has always been on the plainer side - I'm not overweight but a bit stocky (5'5"/140 lbs), simply cut hair, glasses, practical clothes, not much makeup." This contrast in their appearances seemed to widen as Larry's infidelities grew.

When she sought counseling to address their issues, Larry’s criticisms intensified. "He said that the issues were things like my big nose and post-baby tummy pooch—not things I could fix with a simple makeover." She added, "I was getting organized to ask for a divorce when Carla was hit by a car while riding her bike." Their daughter survived, but it took several years for her to regain her strength. During that period, the woman withheld the divorce and became a good parent for the sake of their kids, but "he continued to see other women during this time." The couple only formally separated and divorced after Carla went to college. Larry swiftly remarried a 33-year-old woman, leaving her to deal with the emotional fallout.

In recent years, she has focused on herself. "I updated and colored my hair, started working out more, lost about 15 pounds, got a new wardrobe, and actually started dating," she shared. However, her newfound self-confidence hasn't been received well by her children, "I was too selfish and lazy to do so 'when it mattered'" she shared in the post. "Steve is getting married soon and says he's too angry to invite me to the wedding," the mom of 2 added. Carla, too, had gone low-contact. Steve and Carla's discontent is palpable. They told her, "The only way to fix this— the only thing that would be fair—is to go back to the way I was before." They want her to "stop coloring my hair, dress in my former plain/frumpy way and stop dating." Their anger seemed directed at their mom's dating life.

For the mom herself, the glow-up was a personal journey long overdue. "I didn't get a nose job or other plastic surgery like Larry had wanted," she clarified. She concluded her post by asking the community whether she did anything wrong. People were stunned by how her family reacted to her "glow up" in the comments. "Oh, I hope karma is served on a silver platter for Carla and Steve. Supporting a partner with long hours and being the primary caretaker for young kids and households is a thankless job that is easily marginalized by people with no perspective. Do not be bullied by your family! They are codependent and don't want you to change because it forces them to," said u/RedditOO77.

"I'm struggling to understand what Larry did to make YOU happy during those years where you did everything," asked u/Perfect-Tangerine267. "Do your kids know how much he cheated on you? Because if anyone is going to be mad about something, it should be YOU. You should be mad at your kids for this and your appearance... this sounds like a classic trump move with his misogyny and name-calling. Your daughter should be ashamed of herself. (Your ex, too, but he sounds like an asshole, a big one)," commented u/OkExternal7904.