Mom praises daughter for punching her bully, then asks if was wrong — but the internet's backing her

On Reddit, a mother under the username u/LiveBrieOrFryCarbs asked if she was out of line for telling her 13-year-old daughter "good job" after she punched her bully during STEM camp. The daughter had been repeatedly harassed at school, and when the bullying turned physical again over summer break, she reacted. According to the post, the child had faced a long pattern of abuse from a boy "related to someone in the school district." After multiple incidents and suspensions, the school failed to stop the harassment, and the family planned to transfer schools. This was especially because the boy's parents denied any accountability, citing his suspension as punishment enough. They also went so far as to insinuate that their boy was infatuated with the girl, which is why he is constantly poking her around. Rubbishing these ideas, the girl's mother went on to write, "This past semester it got physical," describing an incident where her daughter was pushed and scratched.

Things escalated again at STEM camp, where the same boy was enrolled. During an outdoor break, while the supervising teacher was reportedly on his phone, the boy shoved her daughter again. "She turned and punched him in the stomach," the mother explained. She asked her daughter what happened. "She said she was afraid he was going to hurt her because he threatened to knock her out," she wrote. The mom responded with, "Okay. Good job defending yourself. Glad you're okay. Let's just catch a movie and decompress." But when the mom told her siblings during a Father's Day gathering, she was criticized by her older brother and his wife. 

"I was immediately told by my eldest brother and his wife that I should never have encouraged her to fight anyone. They argue that now she will see punching people as okay the next time she gets her feelings hurt. That I am a bad parent for opening that door," she wrote. She pushed back, explaining that the adult responsible for supervision hadn’t been paying attention, and her daughter had acted out of fear, not aggression. Still, the reaction from family members left her second-guessing her response. "She’s seemingly okay now, and I took the week off so we can celebrate Juneteenth together and just decompress from it. But I want her to grow up and be safe," she added.

Reddit users were overwhelmingly on her side and supported her decision in the comments. u/amotion_87 commented, "NTA. I have always told my children to NEVER start the fight, but if a kid starts some shit and puts hands on you, you have every right to finish it. Self-defense is self-defense." u/kelbees wrote, "My dad told us, 'Don't start it, but you can end it.' and 'If you hit someone, you make sure they aren't getting back up until you're out of there.'" u/MiseryKD added, "NTA. Bully got exactly what they deserved. Wished more parents were like you." u/CptKUSSCryAllTheTime shared, "NTA. I, as a child, was in a similar situation. You are doing right by your daughter by standing by her."

Stories like this raise a difficult question: what actually helps victims when schools and adults fail to protect them? According to the study "Correlates of School Victimization: Implications for Prevention and Intervention", the answer lies in more than just reactive discipline — it requires direct support for the child’s mental and emotional well-being. The research highlights that victimized students often struggle with depression, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation, and that these internalizing problems not only increase vulnerability but also make recovery harder without intervention. In a short follow-up, the mother clarified that several students had backed up her daughter’s version of events. She also said that "not everyone agreed with my brother, but enough of them did that made me question, and he and his wife were very insistent."

If you're being bullied, please text 'CONNECT' to 741741 for free, confidential support from a trained volunteer Crisis Counselor, available 24/7.