Woman combats family's baby questions with a 'pregnancy jar'

Editor's note: This article was originally published on May 4, 2022. It has since been updated.

The traditional path of getting married and having kids is becoming less common. Rising infertility rates make it difficult for many to conceive. According to Scientific American, reproductive problems in men and women are increasing by about 1% per year in Western countries. While some younger people choose not to have children, others struggle with infertility. Parents often pressure their children to have kids, sometimes excessively. One woman, tired of being badgered about having children, found an innovative way to stop the questions. She shared her story on Reddit and asked if she was wrong for creating a "pregnancy jar."

"My husband and I have been married for 6 years. Still don't have kids (we want them, but it still not happening). Friends and family are causing us constant stress about having a baby soon, but it's obviously something we can't control. We only wished that they'd stop, but to no avail," she wrote. "So what I did was come up with an idea (stupid, I know) and that is to have an empty jar and call it "Pregnancy Jar."

She introduced the jar to highlight the awkwardness of their questions. "I carry it with me in my bag whenever I'm with friends and family and every time someone asks about when my husband and I are gonna have a baby, I pull my jar out and ask them to drop a dollar in there for asking," she wrote. "I'd get puzzled looks, but they reach out for their pockets/wallets/purses and pull out a dollar and put it inside the jar. It actually worked because most of them stopped asking after 4 months."

Things escalated when she pulled out the jar in front of her family. "Last week, we had dinner at my parent's house. My brother came back from his business trip that lasted a month, and while we were eating, he asked when my husband and I were going to have a kid. My husband paused. I got up from the chair and made my way to where my brother was sitting with my jar in my hand and asked him to drop a dollar for the question he asked. He stared at me then laughed nervously, asking if I was being serious," she wrote. "Everyone was looking at us. He said no, he didn't have to pay me, but I told him he didn't have to ask either so here we are! I could tell he felt embarrassed he immediately reached out to his pocket, pulled out his wallet, and put a dollar in my jar. I made my way back to my seat and sat down and resumed eating as if nothing happened. It got awkward afterward."

Her mother confronted her, and other family members sided with him. "Mom pulled me into the kitchen later to tell me that I embarrassed my brother in front of his wife and family and said I should quit acting childish by running around with a jar demanding others to put money in it. I told her they should quit asking then," she wrote. "She went on about how they're just worried for us since we are in our mid-30s and don't have much time left if we want at least one healthy baby. I got upset and she started arguing. My husband and I left and we haven't seen them in days, except I got a call from my sister basically siding with mom and the others saying I'm being childish."

She turned to Reddit, asking if she was wrong, but most users praised her creativity. "I will be stealing this idea for both myself and anyone I ever advise on the issue. IT.IS.BRILLIANT. It is because it does exactly what happened: it brings the absurdity of the question (and by extension the questioner) to an even more absurd plane. You have figured out how to "out-crazy" people that ask without looking crazy yourself," one person commented.

She responded writing, "Oh honey go right ahead, steal it away hahaha. But seriously though I was expecting people here (or at least one) to call me childish and tell me to grow up. Glad that you guys disappointed me hahaha.  It's hard you know, the mental and emotional toll this subject has taken on me and my husband is just incredible. People can be sensitive regarding big, sensitive topics like this and unfortunately, even family who are supposed to understand, make comments and ask uncomfortable questions all the time." She also revealed that she and her husband used the "money on snacks to eat every night when watching tv or some toys for the dogs."