Husband's 'harmless suggestion' of naming his daughter after ex sparks heated discussion

Letting go of the past is often easier said than done, particularly when the emotional baggage of past relationships begins to seep into the present. With the old memories still lingering, it can disrupt new beginnings. This profound reality was brought to light when a 40-year-old man–who goes by u/hottour9407 on Reddit–unintentionally caught his wife off guard by suggesting they name their daughter after his ex-girlfriend.

"I've been with my wife, Anna (30F), for 5 years," the man began his post, acknowledging the sensitivity of their 10-year age gap. Further, he revealed he had been single for 4 years before meeting his wife. However, his heart still held onto the past—before his marriage, he had spent over a decade with another woman named Imogen, who tragically passed away. "I had been in a relationship with 'Imogen' (would be 40F). We had been together for 12 years. She was my first everything. I will openly admit I still do love Imogen. However, she passed," he confessed. Things were going smoothly, and Anna had become a central part of his life. The couple was also blessed with a 3-year-old son, named after him and his grandfather. Seven months ago, the couple welcomed a baby girl.

During pregnancy, they had decided on Elizabeth, but after her birth, the couple did not think the name suited her. "Baby is born healthy, and we didn't think she suited the name Elizabeth. I suggested the name Imogen, not just to honor my ex but also because Anna loved the name," he added. It did not sit well with Anna, and she cried uncontrollably. Following this, the couple decided to name their daughter Elenor, but things had been quite tense after that incident. Anna's behavior became strange. "Things have been tense; she'll hold the baby to feed her, that's it. She's getting help. She's never once said anything, just claimed this pregnancy was harder," the husband revealed.

"My family is completely unhappy with me. I told them the name I suggested, and they've all lost it, saying the timing was poor, etc. I think it was a harmless suggestion as we both liked the name," he concluded the post. Moreover, the husband shared his family was mad at him for suggesting his ex-girlfriend's name for their daughter. However, he defended himself, saying it was a "harmless suggestion" and explaining that both he and his wife liked the name. He sought advice from the Reddit community, asking if he was at fault in this situation. The post quickly gained popularity on the platform with overwhelming responses from the people. 

u/horror_ad7540 wrote, "The age gap isn't an issue. Postpartum depression is the issue here, and thoughtlessly suggest naming your baby after your ex. I don't want to call you AH since you seem oblivious to the implications, but you owe your wife an apology. Also, she needs medical help, not just help with the baby. I'm not sure what kind of help she's getting." u/jocelyn-1973 commented, "Your family is right. It was poor timing. But since it was 7 months ago, you say she is getting help, but is it the appropriate kind of help? Is the focus on herself, the relationship or is she treated for postpartum depression?" u/dragonetta123 added, "If you'd suggested it whilst talking about the baby names during the pregnancy, it was ok, but 99% of the time, it would be shot down. Suggesting it just after the baby is born whilst your wife's hormones are all over the place and she is feeling extremely vulnerable (physically and emotionally) - no. It's insensitive."