Woman worked 12-hour nursing shifts to support her family. Her husband called her 'fat and lazy' for refusing to be his trad wife
He also accused her of starving him, leading to his deteriorating health
Marriage thrives only when both partners share equal responsibilities for the household. A working mom (u/throwaway29837373), however, found herself in a different situation when her husband fat-shamed her for refusing to become his 'trad wife' despite working 12-hour shifts every day. In fact, he also accused her of starving him and not serving him food, leading to his deteriorating health. On July 28, the woman turned to Reddit to vent her frustration, and her post has received 12,000 upvotes online.
My husband wants a divorce because I won’t serve him food
by u/throwaway29837373 in GirlDinnerDiaries
Breadwinner of the house
About eight years ago, when the two got together, the woman was just 19 while her husband was 28. At the time, she didn’t have a proper job, and so she took anything that ran their household. Initially, the couple shared the household chores equally and enjoyed quality time together. Life was good, but things changed about two years ago. The woman completed her degree and secured a nice job as a nurse. Over time, as the couple had two children, she became the breadwinner and also managed the household chores. "He’s worked this same management role since I’ve met him and cannot seem to get promoted, capping his income while mine has nearly doubled," the author said.
The past few months, the author said she has been under a lot of stress. In fact, she admitted to drinking almost every night to "numb the resentment." However, things got uglier when her husband exploded after she refused to cook meals. He started fatshaming her and calling her “lazy” because she would cook for herself but not for him, telling her that this was the reason why he was skinny.
All hell broke loose
What started as a standalone argument about cooking escalated into a heated quarrel, and her husband started unspooling the layers of grudges. Apart from cooking, he also brought up other household chores and even their sexual connection. He said he expected her to initiate physical intimacy, which she did not. As her husband blew off the steam, the woman reflected that it wasn’t a one-time argument but years of accumulated resentments, unresolved arguments, and buried anger. Now, however, she said she believes that the relationship is beyond fixing given her husband’s stubborn attitude towards her and household responsibilities. "I wish I could have fixed my relationship, but there is nothing to fix, and it’s a horribly angry and devastating feeling," the author confessed.
The invisible load
According to a survey by Pew Research Center, more than half of married U.S. adults (56%), both with and without children, agreed that sharing household chores is “very important” for a successful marriage. However, more women take household responsibilities than men. In fact, when it comes to daily duties like food preparation or cleaning, only 43% of men were found to be involved compared to 69% of women, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported. Unfortunately, even today, full-time working wives are expected to handle full household responsibilities. This shows outdated marital expectations are a persistent issue.
'Leave your husband'
Meanwhile, Reddit readers were enraged at the woman’s husband for behaving like a man-child. u/aint4llflowers commented, "He is not your husband but another child for you to take care of." Similarly, u/hideandsee said, “Hey. Your kids see this and will form their future relationships based on your dynamic. They will think it’s normal to treat women this way, or for men to treat them this way. Leave.”
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