Husband stands up to his wife after she mistreats step kids: 'She can pack up and leave'

The highly traumatic and life-altering event of divorce can cripple a family with numerous challenges and profuse emotional distress. Especially for the children of the separated couple, the distress is multiplied and more difficult to deal with. In a recent Reddit post, a 43-year-old man, u/purpose_of_dune, took to Reddit to ask people whether he did wrong in telling his wife to leave because she was mistreating his older kids. 

The man shared he has been with his current wife, Amanda, for the past 6 years. The couple has two daughters, 4-year-old Becca and 2-year-old Eliza. He has two kids from his previous marriage as well—17-year-old son Liam and 15-year-old daughter Sage. Due to his previous wife's better-paying job, she received primary custody of their children. So Liam and Sage visit their father mostly on weekends. While in their mother’s custody, they started having issues with their stepdad. That’s when they asked their father if they could stay at his place full-time.

“I did talk to my wife about it and I know she wasn’t happy as she feels uncomfortable around my older kids, although this was something she neglected to tell me until we had our first child together,” the father wrote.

"Since Liam and Sage arrived at their house, things have been running pretty badly," he added. He even recommended having a family therapy session, but Amanda refused it immediately.

Previously, when the two kids came to their house on weekends, Amanda would quietly slip away to her parents' house with their little daughters. Her husband admitted that being a stepparent is difficult; his older kids were too nice to be mistreated by her. He added that people go out of their way to tell him nice things about Liam and Sage, including that they have straight As, are respectful, and are active in sports. So, understandably, he felt terrible watching Amanda nitpick at these kids for no reason. “Almost as if she’s waiting for them to slip up so she could send them back to their mother,” he described.

The latest episode that triggered dissonance in their family involved Becca. Becca is in her biting phase. One morning, while he was making breakfast, a shriek reached his ears, prompting him to turn around. As he turned, he saw Becca approaching him, teary-eyed. Still crying, Becca told him that Sage had hit her.

"Amanda ran into the den where Liam and Sage were and started screaming at them to leave. She was obviously angry, but Sage told her she was sorry. She had been done with the TV, so she had changed it to one of the girls’ shows, and Becca got excited and bit her. She said she didn’t mean to slap her and felt bad. I immediately calmed down, but Amanda didn’t believe her. Sage had a bite mark for goodness' sake," he described. Feeling dejected, Liam and Sage walked over to a friend's house to spend the night.

But once things became tense in their household, there was nothing he could do to return things to normal. His wife constantly threatened to get his older kids out or else she’d call the police. "I laughed because Amanda herself once hit Becca for biting her,” he said.

Amanda stepped out and went to her mom’s house with their two daughters. Meanwhile, she kept on texting him that she’d be back the next day and he needed to get the kids out. At last, he stood up for his kids and told her this is their home. “I was ignoring her but finally said this is their home, and if she was uncomfortable, she could pack up and leave.”

On top of all this, Becca’s school recommended that she take occupational therapy (OT), and as a single-income family, the expenses are a bit too much for their budget. Despite their parents’ negotiations, the couple don’t seem to align with each other anymore. Reading about this uptight situation, thousands of Reddit users flocked to the comment section to support this man. Fellow stepmoms raved about how heartless Amanda was.

“I get the feeling that your wife was expecting you'd move on from your older kids once you and she had your children together. That they would be your new family and you'd just forget the first one,” wrote u/writing_mm_romance, “She underestimated your commitment to your children, she expected you to choose her. It's important to show all four of your kids that they'll be in your top priorities always.” u/BlueGreen_1956 said, “Amanda needs to go. It's a shame you share kids with her, but I would never trust her again.”