The dad argues that he has to work extra hours in the office due to a financial crisis and asks people online if he stands right.
It can be challenging to balance being a dutiful parent, working well to support your family and having a love connection with your partner. Even if they are not paid for their work, parents hardly ever get to take any breaks at all. A 37-year-old father, u/Head_Ad6803, turned to the Reddit community and posted a personal story about an argument with his wife about the hours he should be working while his kids are sick at home.
The father shared how he has been with his wife for a long time since they were seniors in high school. They also share 6 kids between the ages of 7 to 15. He also works from Monday to Friday, which is about 14 hours for 3 days and 12 hours for the remaining 2 days and his wife is a stay-at-home mom.
"Before I get the hate comments as I've seen in the past, I am extremely grateful," the man writes in his post. "On my days off, I take the kids out and my wife has the day to herself or she goes out and I handle chores. I always remind my wife and take her out on date nights a few times a month on my days off. My sister comes by and helps out some days throughout the week," the man added in his post. Also, he shared that the family had a financial crisis earlier this year, for which he's working extra hours.
He further justified why his extra work is necessary as 4 of his kids do extracurriculars and they had to pay for other necessities. But recently, his wife was asking him "to cut back hours, which has been causing arguments because it's simply impossible at the moment. We have young twins and earlier this week, they got the flu, which spread throughout our home and had the kids home from school for the majority of the week," the post continued.
The father could not call off from work, which left his wife stressed out. Besides, one of their children has autism and was also sick, which was hard to manage due to the kid's tantrums. Even though he felt bad about his wife dealing with the situation, he couldn't take time off from work. He said, "Basically, today, my wife shouted at me for over an hour for refusing to take fewer hours because she was so stressed. She said I get to escape at work and she has a household to run. I tried to explain that I'd love more than anything to be home more, but I couldn't but she continued yelling, saying I was the problem," the father, asking the community if he was in the wrong for doing what he does.
There were polarizing responses from the community. Some spoke in support of the father, whereas, others sided with the exhausted stay-at-home mom. u/Rohini_rambles wrote, "Extracurriculars are not necessities. A burnt-out caregiver, especially to a kid with special needs, is a dangerous thing. She is asking you for help. You need to hear her OP. Having 6 kids is so much work and she's doing it alone essentially. She shouted at you for an hour. That lady doesn't have an hour to spare. That's how serious it is."
u/LowBalance4404 commented, "I don't know man. 66 hours a week doesn't sound like an escape to me. That sounds like hell. On your next day off, can you two sit down and go through your budget? Maybe you can work fewer hours if sacrifices are made in other areas and you both are willing to do that." u/DisastrousSwordfish1 added, "You need to have a sit down with your wife. Your current situation seems like it's unsustainable. I know your wife doesn't want to take away your kids' extracurricular stuff but you seriously need to think about tightening the belt. Whether that means getting rid of the extracurricular stuff, cutting down on quality-of-life expenses, or moving somewhere cheaper."
u/No_Hippo_1472 remarked: "This situation isn’t sustainable. Is it possible for her to get a part-time job that literally just pays for childcare during her time working? If she considers your job to be a break, maybe a job of her own is what she needs. She’d get to interact with other adults and not be on constant child duty. Taking care of kids (especially that many) means your brain can literally not shut off for one second."