Husband refuses to help wife who quit job to stay home with the kid — their ‘agreement’ has internet divided

Being a working parent is a difficult task, but being a stay-at-home parent is no less challenging. Along with taking care of the children, a stay-at-home parent is expected to maintain the entire household as well. It's a job easier said than done and one wife realized it soon enough. A 28-year-old husband, u/nylver1, took to the Reddit community to share how his 27-year-old wife decided to become a stay-at-home mom after having a child, even having a good job, which didn't make their lives easier. The man, in turn, refused to help his wife with the household chores and wondered if he made the right decision.

"Am I in the wrong for refusing to do anything around the house because my wife insisted on staying home with our child," the man captioned his post. It was evident that his wife, who used to be employed, did not expect the transition into a stay-at-home mom to be extremely exhausting as well. "I have been with my wife for four years, married for one," the husband and dad shared. "I'm an electrician and she is an accountant. I make about $60,000 a year, and she makes about $55,000." After giving birth to their first child, his wife took the maximum maternity leave that her office allowed and planned to join the work after six months. But after six months, she was not ready to go back to the office and leave her child behind.

"My wife told me that she would feel guilt and sadness if we put our child in daycare. Therefore, she wants to stay home with him," he recalled. He even suggested therapy to his wife, but she didn't agree to it. As a result, he became the sole breadwinner of the household and had to work longer hours at his job. He started working 10 hours a day to compensate for his wife's lack of income. "I told my wife how grueling it would be and she tried convincing me by saying I must sacrifice for our child and she would do all the child care and housework and I wouldn't have to do anything around the house," the man wrote.

"Even without any housework, it is still very extreme. I reluctantly agreed because I felt like I had no choice." The first month after leaving her job, his wife dutifully took care of the housework, but then she expected her husband to help her with household chores. "I would remind her of our agreement and she would look annoyed but move on and do it herself," the man continued. Things reached a breaking point when his wife told him to make dinner one night, and he refused.

"She looked furious, but she got up and made dinner, and since then, she has been giving me the silent treatment," the man concluded before adding that he had been angry at his wife ever since and felt that she was trying to manipulate him through silent treatment. The Reddit community came together to suggest to the couple alternative parenting plans and to have honest conversations with one another to solve the issue. u/Potatoesop suggested, "Therapy would be a good idea but they need to discuss the agreement further. It’s very clearly not working for either of them. He doesn’t like working increased hours and she doesn’t like being the one who does the cooking and cleaning."

 u/Guilty_Strategy2151 pointed out, "It sounds to me like she underestimated just how much work goes into being a stay-at-home mom, as well as how exhausting you working to cover for lost income would be. I think you both need to sit down and clear the air when it comes to grievances or your built-up resentment toward each other is going to tank your relationship." u/johannalu added, "The cost of childcare should be a factor here. If she went back to work, both of you would be paying for it and it’s not inexpensive. Then you would both be equally responsible for housekeeping and meals. Just depends on your priorities."