Husband gets a reality check online after incredibly insensitive response to struggling wife

Household chores and childcare are often tagged as a woman's job. Men who cater to such traditional but outdated beliefs refuse to even do the bare minimum or shoulder a bit of responsibility at home. That's exactly what happened with this couple. A 26-year-old husband, u/distinct_papaya_8608, shared on Reddit that his 26-year-old wife took a week off to be with their daughter and was struggling with managing the child and household chores. Instead of helping her, he advised her on what she could do differently.

He started the post by saying he and his wife work four days a week. While he works 12-hour shifts, his wife does 8-hour shifts. "She would work more, but our daughter needs to be picked up from daycare. I leave for work before they wake up and some days, get home after our daughter has gone to bed," he shared. He went on to write that when his daughter's daycare provider fell sick, his wife decided to take a week off to be with their 1-year-old daughter. Meanwhile, the husband decided to work an extra day to make up for his wife's lost income. 

But the wife still seemed stressed, so he asked her what was wrong. "She broke down, saying that she is struggling with balancing work, caring for our daughter throughout the week and keeping our house clean/cooking/etc. I responded calmly by saying I couldn't miss work or reduce hours. We simply cannot afford it," he explained. She responded that she knew that, but it was overwhelming and the house chores were piling up. Instead of comforting her or understanding what she was trying to say, he made a highly insensitive comment.

He said, "I told her 90% of the problems with messiness could be solved if she picked up after herself. If she just put the used butter knives in the sink after she was done and rinsed bottles/cookware/etc." He added that he would "happily" do the dishes once he returned from work and put them away after. "But I do not want to play scavenger hunt and look around the house for things to wash," he said. His wife didn't respond to him and went off to console their daughter, who woke up from an early nap. He said, "She still seemed upset with me, so I vented to my coworker about what happened. He says I was being an a***ole because I didn't even listen to what she wanted. I feel like I was perfectly reasonable." After this, he asked people on the platform if he was wrong in how he handled his wife's concerns.

People in the comments gave the husband a reality check. u/trishsf commented, "So your wife is overwhelmed and exhausted with a one-year-old and you say it would all be okay if she just picked up after herself. Are you kidding me?" u/bizzy1717 wrote, "Your wife works almost full time and does all the childcare during her non-working hours multiple times a week and your response to her feeling overwhelmed is to lecture her about tidying up as she goes?" u/crazycat_77 expressed, "You seem to think that housework is limited to washing up. What about hoovering, cleaning the bathroom, mopping the kitchen floor, emptying the bins, the endless laundry created by a small child?"