Husband kept 'forgetting' to buy Thanksgiving groceries so his wife 'uninvited' him

When a person is tasked to do something, forgetting to do so due to genuine reasons is excusable. However, when they try to use their weaponized incompetence, it can never be tolerated. When a woman on Reddit (u/OneConfection6363) asked her husband to pick up groceries for Thanksgiving twice, both times he forgot, and instead of making it up to her, he snapped at her for being "demanding." But his last denial pushed her to uninvite him from Thanksgiving dinner. Sharing the story to seek advice from online users, the woman posted about her ordeal on November 26.

The thirty-three-year-old author has been married to her forty-two-year-old husband for 10 years. Celebrating Thanksgiving at her parents' place and Christmas at her husband's place every year was their usual tradition. While she worked a desk job, her husband had recently quit a demanding job and started another part-time gig. However, since the author had also begun her Bachelor's studies, she was finding it challenging to juggle her work, studies, and house chores. As Thanksgiving approached, the author asked her husband to pick up groceries; however, when she got back from work, her husband was playing video games. "But he showed me he went to the little Italian grocer's next door for lunch to get a sub, and picked up cranberry sauce. He could have gotten the other items for Thanksgiving right there, but 'it was too crowded' so after he got his sub he left."

The next day, she reminded him again, but he snapped back at her. "Saying that this wasn't all his fault, and we both forgot and he doesn’t like how I'm telling him 'you need to do this and you need to do that' (which I didn't, I asked politely) and now he doesn't even want to do Thanksgiving because of all the pressure he feels," she wrote. Later, the author asked her parents to pick up the things needed for dinner, and her husband refused to be part of the Thanksgiving. The wife's turmoil is highlighted in the 2024 study authored by Jenna M. Thome. The study found that women carried a disproportionately large share of cognitive labor compared to physical tasks, and this imbalance was strongly associated with higher levels of depression, stress, burnout, and strain on mental health and relationship functioning.

Soon after the post gained traction, many users criticized the husband for his attitude. u/FLmom67 wrote, "It's called 'weaponized incompetence' and 'male entitlement.' And you gotta ask yourself if you want to keep living with this." u/willfauxreal commented, "Welcome to the rest of your life. Get better at living with resentment or start setting your boundaries and live within them, and prepare for a split just in case. Tbh, I'm not surprised as a 32 year old man pursued a 23-year-old woman." u/MitchyS68 asked, "What are you getting out of this relationship?"

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